i'll still get butterflies years from now...

2012-01-20T08:52:00.000-08:00

It seems like ages since I've sat down and penned down my thoughts. I don't think I need to be so reserved when blogging, who blogs nowadays anw! Haha so anw:D
Met up with lee bin and julie today! ;D went to mcs but.. Idk, the feeling kinda' felt different. I guess.. all of us have to grow up and we have grown so much all these years. Sometimes, I do look back and feel sad for the lost friendships in my life, and also the ones I've missed. Oh well. Let this new year be a great and fulfilling one! I really hope I'll be able to do something with my life and yeah, start again :) it was really great spending time with lee bin and julie haha.. Though we had not talked for some time, I didn't feel awkward whatsoever when I was talking to them :D lee bin ah, blur, funny and cute like anything man! HAHA and I kept yelling that she looks like lin lao shi. LOL :D oh well, till we meet again! Really hope our clique will be able to stay intact when we go our separate ways in jc.. Still unsure of my course choice but let's just let God decide. Was kinda' regretting about not placing rj as my first choice, but I guess God wants me to be in hc.. So let's see what hc has to offer me, and what I can offer to hc :) cny's approaching, school's starting, piano lessons are starting, tuition will come soon... Hope i'll be able to cope..
If I don't ask "Why me?" after my victories, I cannot ask "Why me?" after my setbacks and disasters.
let's go, baybehh! :)

2011-11-25T09:15:00.000-08:00

对不起
我不是故意这么做
我知道
你已开始你自己的生活
我也知道
自己也须忘了你
这是我的问题
希望你能体谅
也许
在不同的时空
我会把你忘得一干二净
希望是这样吧
...
一年多了
我以为
不再想你了
但
你犹在我记忆中
是我永远不净的烙印
我知道
是我自己的问题
但
有时看你那潇洒
的样子
我一直问自己
你是否忘了我
还是在摆酷
还是你把我当成小孩
一样看待
我只知道
昨天可能是上主给我
的最后一次机会
来跟你说声
再见
对不起
我做不到
但我想祝你
幸福
因
这是所谓的真‘爱’
原来
两眼噙着泪
对着照相机
是那么的
痛苦

2011-07-01T11:15:00.000-07:00

whoa. it's been a good six months. emo-ing now. Been feeling horrible. Cried since 1am, just stopped.. I was just thinking about everything. This whole year.. On whether I really enjoyed myself. And yes, it's a 'no'.
...
looking back at these four years, we've come a long way. Somehow.. things don't seem too pretty to me this year. Maybe it's just me.
...
i thought i'd be better off this way
stay on the surface
so i wouldn't get hurt
putting on a mask
acting like i was happy
just to fool myself
into being
happy
when i knew
that all around me
was
sadness
i get it
i've just been the one taking all this time
and never giving
obviously people do get tired
and i feel like a clown
so i toned it down
thinking that
hey
it would help me feel
better
then i see that
i was totally wrong
trying to erase someone from memory
is not all too simple
maybe
it's just me
thinking too much
too sensitive
it's all a self-defence
kinda' thing
but once again
i've walked down
the wrong path
numbing?
i've tried it
bottling it in?
hell yeah
tired of living under a mask
being who i'm not
and slowly losing myself
i dunno whether you know
that i felt horrible
trying to ignore you
and going with someone else
whom i knew wasn't.. true
i thought i'd be better off
that way
so i wouldn't get affected easily
like how i always am
but when i stole a peek
and saw you
just sitting there
the last thing you
should be doing
on a day like that
i knew that i had to
stop fooling myself
cos it's tiring living under a mask
but what can i do?
when you said 'thank you'
i pang ran threw me again
i just felt so bad
i wanted to cry
neither did i offer you something
that you were privileged to receive
on that day
someone else did
that someone else who's
closer to you now
how that happened i do not
know
i'm just a bad friend
bad person
对不起
我自己
也很乱
...
i've been thinking about
why i was born
why jesus chose me
to come into the world
why
when i get stuck in sth i've been stuck in since s2
but can't get out of
is it just me?
i really dunno
the blocking out of feelings
has culminated into
this
tryna' live like how i don't wna
i hate myself
i want to see the old me again
but i've lost her
for a long time now
sometimes
putting on a strong front
is just so difficult
i've given up calling
my close ones
'cos at the very end
things still remain the same
or rather
i'm getting worse
i've fallen
tryna' get up
maybe there are a
thousand hands reaching out
but why is it that even when
i hold every one
i can't stand, still?
i've given up on that already
keeping everything inside me
'cos there's no hope for me anymore
i'm stuck like that
i wanna' get out
find back the old 'me'
it's frustrating
'cos i cant find her back
we all have to move on, have we?
i wanna' move on
with the old me
i tell myself every night
that when i wake up the next day
things'll change
things'll be better
i'll be able to feel okay
and then
when i wake the next day
that hope plunges like a roller coaster
down, down, down,
down
...
not much time left
i shouldn't be doing this
but
i can't stand keeping everything in
anymore

2011-01-09T00:51:00.000-08:00

I just hope she was right about everything. I dunno, just feeling so low. Yeah, flirt. Yknow, whether you even like me or not, that ain't the issue anm. 'cos I know i gotta' forget you, but HA, i cried. LOL that's so dumb. But still? Yknow suddenly ignoring someone who's been so nice to you sucks? Yeah but i gotta' tell myself he's a flirt, i'm a little kid, hell yeah.

2010-12-30T12:05:00.001-08:00

"I want you ta' take my hand on this adventure..."
"I'll go with you.. But i don't wanna' touch you..."
OMG JAY YOUR ENG AIN'T THAT AWESOME, BUT YOU'RE JUST SO FRIGGIN' HAWTTT. shitts.
"It's a gas gun..."
"Hey you okay? *pats* okay."

2010-12-30T11:26:00.000-08:00

I LIKE TODAY'S CHOIR PRAC! :D ahaha. Miss lim told us to like have a positive outlook to next year, and not sigh 'cos it's coming :D then she told us to make our new year resolutions! Haha :D it was quite nice. Yknow, the thought of ending choir suddenly makes me feel sad! Hahaa. Like, i know i'm not mad about choir, but still! Haha i'll miss my jnrs :D lol. Oh well, school's starting. Gotta' piahhh man :D hahaha. So sleepy now. I'll go sleep! :D haha counting down tmr! Gna watch the tourisst!!!!!!!!!!! RAHHH MY EX HUSBAND JOHNNY DEPP! RAHHHHH so awesome :D loves mannn! :D
hao3le, jiu4ci3ge1bi3, wo3 ai4 JIE2 LUN2!!!!
aha.

2010-12-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

有时会质问自己
这决定是否对
但问这些
到底有啥用
事已如此
就应勇敢地去面对
这么久了
但我始终没从这件事学到什么
不要管别人怎么看你
话说得好容易
你自己能这么做么？
their stares
it pierces through me
the way they look
hell, yeah
it hurts me
i dunno whether i still know you
or not
were you like this
last time?
hell, yeah
should stop sayin'
'last time'
kinda' felt like i lost you
or do you just plain don't care
nursin' an identity crisis
hell, yeah
i lost you, mom
you don't care anm
or have you ever?
right now,
facin' this lonely world
there're many crossroads
dunno which way to go
feel so alone
maybe it's just up to myself
to be
independent
facin' a big thing
next year
dun wanna' do this
then they shut me up with
d' you have
a
choice
hell, yeah
things are bleak again
and then it goes back to the
cycle of
'only you can think of a
way out'
...
It's not as if I don't think for you. I do. But sometimes I believe that people are selfish. I know it's hard for you, all of you, maybe we're just putting on a brave front, a smile to hide all the grief in us. Maybe that's the way for me, I donno 'bout you. I just don't see any purpose in doing anything anm. Come on, nobody cares what I do about my life. Yeah, I sound baby. Yeah then too bad I AM baby. She can't even control that clubber, she doesn't even care about me, and she's become this... I dunno. It's like, I feel i'm older than her. When we go out, esp to the places we've been to previously, it's just funny how the people stare. I really dunno what has made her become like this. I don't like it. It's as if I've lost a mom. And then a dad. This thing has been hovering for so long, why ain't anything changing?
...
thanks for being so cool about everything. Hah, you rock. :D

2010-12-09T10:17:00.001-08:00

Haha went out with tess today! :D so fun, we were both late, so we ended up meeting at 530. Then we walked around and 'shopped' ahaha. WHOO then we went to eat dinner at yoshi. Okay jac, now I understand you, I won't go yoshi anm. Not nice de! :( haha. Then there was this irritating man who said we couldn't sit at the table with 6 people when there were so little ppl there -.- so irritating la, the table instructions didn't even SAY that, they said to share our table if necessary, so yeah la! Wallao. Stupid. Ah wtv haaha. Yeah lor, then... Hmmm, oh haha, we started talking about a's and then I got so xian. Haha so we went to take pics. OMG SO MANY PICS XIA!!! AND SO FUN! The orchard lighting wasn't really that nice, but it was very fun! Haha, if only there were more spastic shots, and 'higher' people to take the pics for us! So diff to take la :( heeh. Oh well, then I had to go home le! :( haha. We stopped by canele to eat cake! My sis joined my mum, robin and me :D haha. The cake was dark choc but wasn't as nice as baker's inn! AND GUESS WHAT! OMGMGOMGOMGG. MY mum bought me the beloved guess wallet I wanted!!!!!!!!!! HHAHAHAHAHAH :D YAY ME:D then robin bought me the guess jeans on sale WHAHAHA. HALF PRICE, ONCE IN A LIFETIME MAN! HAHA AWESOME JEANS. :D HAPPY HAPPY. Haha okay, it's time to go already! So late! HAHA :D goodnight tongue tied! :D

2010-12-07T06:18:00.000-08:00

I MISS MEL PORK PIG. HAHAHAHA. OH I TELL YOU K. SLEEPOVER WAS HOT. HOT!HOT! HOT HOT HOT!!! THAT'S VERY HOT! THAT'S VERY HOT!!!!!!!!! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMGOMGOMGOMOMGGGGGG. HAHAHAH MY SKIN FEELS LIKE BAIIBEEE PAYY-CHES!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. OMG I LOVE BECKHAM'S ACCENT. THAT'S VERY AH!! AH!AH! AH AH AH!! THAT'S VERY AH! that's very AH!!!! OMGGGG. AHAHAHHAHA.
OKAY. I say properly. So ytd was it ytd yes yeah it was ytd we went aline's house sleepover!!!!!!!! HWAHHAHAHAH. THEY MADDIEEEE play until 3 plus. AIYO! BUT IT WAS SUPER ENTERTAINING OKAY. I TELL YOU. I LOVE ELLEN DEGENERES!!!!!!! IS IT HOW YOU SPELL? AND THE THAT'S VERY HOT POEPEL. OMG EPICCCC.hahahahah. Like really lah, omg jac, i love you for letting us watch those vids. I'm gonna' watch again later LOL. You know, I fell alseep then i woke up with painful eyes!!!!!! Then here i am staring at the com screen-- the best treatment for paiinful eyes huh. I'm sneeeezinggggg. AAAHHH CHOOOOOO!!! HHAHAH OKAY. okay omg stop it. Yeah, it was the vids that made the sleepover awesome. I couldn't sleep till 5 i swear. Then we woke up at 530. Like omg. My eyes were very itchy halfway through, so I rubbed them, and they became painful, then I felt cold, and i used the sleeping bag as my blanket (-.-''') ahaha, but still shivered. Haha. Then last night, we arranged to do the that's very hot for mel at the airport. Then when we saw her then IT FAILED. TSK. Jac started laughing then all of us laughed and then yeah lol. HAHA. So pig lah. I bet ashley's trying it in front of her mirror now. It's just so epic. I think i need a week to get over it. HAHA. Oh megs is off to melbourne! BOY I ALSO WANNA' GO OVERSEAS. We ate dinner at aline's house ytd. I went to buy my pop stuff then we went to see pet shops ahahha, then we went back to aline's house in the mountains. HAHA claire was so cute!! :D though I found her irritating at first. Haha, but later like she very poorthing like that, ahahha. So we played monopoly with her while listening to westlife and bsb songs. HAHA it was so nicee! :D and aline's double decker bed is quite epic. It shakes. I was doing sit-ups there ytd. haha. Then this morning, we cabbed to changi 'cos bus wasn't 'open'. After seeing mel off, we went to eat at macs which left us bloated and then ahahha okay I can't say it here. Okay nvm. Yeah then we wanted to go ecp!! But then I had tuition, so we went to aline's home, then they slept like total pigs. Only ash and I were the un-pig ones. I did 2 vids ahhaha. Video-ed and took pics of the sleeping pigs, jac and aline. HAHAHAH. Omg aline is such a heavy sleeper! I sang "ALINE" and then she didn't wake up. Hahah, basically, I tried ways and means to wake her but she didn't stir. LOL. Then jac told me to sing Majulah Singapura right at her ear. LOL then she woke up!! HAHAAHAHAH. Omg. Haha. Sigh i xian. thu still got finger appmt, and then I haven't arrange finish with tess which day, haven't reply ash and jac. Ah I think I shall just leave it till tmr. AND YOU EPIC ASH! WHY YOU NEVER TELL ME HE...?!!! YOU ARE SUCH A PIG. SEE, I TOLD YOU HE'S NICE :D haha. 好吧，该睡了，就此搁笔，晚安! :D sweet beijing and melbourne dreams, everyone :D ILOVE KJA2M2;D that's very AHH! :D

2010-12-03T03:23:00.000-08:00

BEAUTIFUL IN WHITE! WESTLIFE!!!!! I LOVE YOU. :D hope everything will turn out okay for you guys! :D and mel, take care okay! Haha. :D i'll miss you when you're in beijing.

2010-11-10T09:34:00.000-08:00

hey, tongue tied. Long time no blog and starting to feel xian. 'cos of a lot of things. XIAN. Stupid throat is gonna' kill me by the time i finish choiring tmr. So pain now. Oh well. Anw, it's been a long year.Well, in a sense, short--i dunno? Maybe i'm still trapped in the past, 'cos everything still feels like the way it is. It's not that there haven't been changes, but then, I guess my xin1qing2 is still the same. It seems like just last year that I finished my eoys. This whole year has basically been very shit for me. I haven't been concentrating well and... Just a lot a lot of distractions, yeah? I hope that these stuff will clear by next year. What with moving house, etc. I dunno, I'm just so lost.
I thought you were once my bestest buddy
someone whom I could share things with
someone who had the same feelings as i do
Well maybe i'm just wrong
'cos I dunno you anymore
Yeah, i'm embarrassed to even say you're someone to me
'cos deep down right now
you are
not
anything
And I know that i'm not anything to you either
have it your way then
'cos i really don't have
the energy to care anymore;
a fresh, blank sheet of paper
crumpled beyond recognition
then restlessly teared
into shreds
which drifted in the air for a moment
like soft, fluffy feathers
but hitting against the
cold, hard ground
stop tearing yourself apart
'cos i really dunno you anymore
...
what the shit with the stupid lang bar options man.
...
哦我真棒！
...
如果
我没曾遇见你
也许可能会好过一些
有时
我希望能回到过去
回到
你根本不知道我是谁
的时候
你知道吗
我掉进了深不可测的冰窟窿
但有你在
我却跌得更深、更深
曾以为
忘记你
是如此的容易
但现在
却改变了主意
可不可以
停止想念
想骑着脚踏车
轻易的拉紧车闸
从容的停止
谢谢你
但我还得离开你
只是
我不知道我几时
才能放手
已经两年了
两年...
...
this isn't supposed to be my focus right now
it's not
but why
why am i letting myself
fall even further
i want to stop this
but i can't say bye to
these memories
i can't say bye
when i've known you more
i can't say bye
'cos you'd find it
i dunno
i guess
it's that
i don't want to
why can't you just do sth nasty
nasty nasty nasty
to make me hate you
and make you hate me
so we'll just break of contact
altogether
'cos i don't think i can carry on
like this
you're part of my support
'cos the rest is too little
but
it's just
dangerous
it's just
not right
...
weird of you today.. is everything okay? I dunno what happened, and i know you've tried hard, so hey, don't despair k? I'll be here:)
...
Nothing to say about you but that I think we're drifting apart. That's the way life is, huh? Well, let it be that way then. Anyway, i realised that i've become a loner.
...
she stares up at the glinting studs above
and stares at the road up ahead of her
her eyes telegraphing inner turmoil that no one
could understand
a teardrop pricked her eyes
slipping down her cheek
she's created songs
she's sung out loud
she's tried to push them memories back
but they still protrude grotesquely
into her brain
her brain that's drained
that doesn't wna take in
any more
she hopes
to press the stop button
to this game of life
then draws back
laughing coldly
lifelessly
knowing that
it's impossible
what with adidas;
hiding behind a mask
wasn't
and isn't
so easy
after all
...
karinyeo. i need to feel the power.

2010-08-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

才離開沒多久就開始擔心今天的妳過得好不好
整個畫面是妳想妳想的睡不著
嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣還有在妳身上香香的味道
我的快樂是妳想妳想的都會笑
沒有妳在我有多難熬
(沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
沒有妳煩我有多煩惱
(沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)
穿過雲層我試著努力向妳奔跑
愛才送到妳卻已在別人懷抱
就是開不了口讓她知道
我一定會呵護著妳也逗妳笑
妳對我有多重要我後悔沒讓妳知道
安靜的聽妳撒嬌看妳睡著一直到老
就是開不了口讓她知道
就是那麼簡單幾句我辦不到
整顆心懸在半空我只能夠遠遠看著
這些我都做得到但那個人已經不是我

2010-08-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

RAHH! I didn't do any work ytd :( gahhh. I just... Aiyah. It's so late and I wanna' sleep already so i'll make it quick ahaha. So then I went to call mel. Aiyo then I cry. Okay fine, I was crying before that already. Just felt so gross lah. Then in the end we talked until 1:20am like that! OMG LA. Then we both had unfinished, urgent stuff to do lol. Haha she had trial exam, I had chem proj!! OMG haha. Then very funny, I talk until my phone no more batt. Then I told her come online, then I said I liked hui2dao4guo4qu4, so she played. Then play halfway suddenly my phone off. HAHA. Then i laugh and laugh and laugh. It was very weird la, we were talking and msn-ing at the same time so very funny. Haha. Sigh, couldn't go out with them today :( ah, at least they didn't go to the beach :D hehee. Omg. I'm listening to ju2hua1tai2. IT ROCKS. I LOVE JAY JAY JAY JAYSEAN! :D omg it's really awesome. I don't want my jay to stop singing haha. LOVE! Omg. His songs can really touch your heart. I feel like i'm in some concert hall listening to co. HAHA. Okay la, then i had to do my dumb chem proj lor. Do until so sleepy. Then national day celeb today!! Not very high but IT WAS NICE, TONGUE TIED :D hahahahaha. Just behind, everywhere. I tell you. You can't say I don't have! HAHA :D all right, I've got to sleep already. Talk to you some other time. Jiayou me on okay.

...

好久没谈
你还好吗
idk
my friggin' com can't type chinese
stupid dumb com
it seems like years since
we even sat down
and had a
good talk
ha
i miss you
oh boy
maybe it's the time
and the song
stop stop
go sleep
karin!
...
SOMEONE SNATCHED MY TAXI FROM ME!!!!! WALLAO EH. He was wearing black, and then we were both hailing taxis. FINE, I KNOW HE WAS STANDING NEARER THE TAXI THAN ME AND HE'S SUPER FAR AWAY BUT SO. Hahaha. Stupid. was listening to hui2dao4guo4qu4. AIYO AH!! Heart break la. GOOD MORNING TONGUE TIED！我的天为啥现在又换回华文？！这个。。

2010-07-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

I can't stand it. Why is singapore like that? Just so caught up with their work, caught up with earning money, caught up with staying ahead of others all the time, caught up with doing better than everyone. WHAT'S WITH THIS!!!!! WHY NO ENCORE!!!!! WHY NO FREAKIN' LIFE AT ALL!!!!!! ARGH!!! Jay's concert was awesome, but i guess he's feeling quite sad now. Gosh i don't want him to!! You know sth, he asked "要我唱什么歌？！！" twice and then the audience didn't make any noise. WAH KAO EH. I was like- exclamation mark!! Sigh. And then when the lights were off, no one shouted encore, then he came out again. Sigh. It happened twice and he did the same thing again. Then when the concert was officially over, everyone just left their seats. LIKE WHAT!! THEN IN THE FIRST PLACE DON'T PAY TO GO RIGHT! WHAT'S WITH THE HIGHNESS ABOUT JAY IN SINGAPORE! HUH!!! I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS HIGH?! WHAT THE HELL. Then he was like, "昨天他们蛮high的..." I bet we're the worst badge of people man. Stupid people. Just wanna' go home 'cos it's a damn sunday. THEN DON'T COME IN THE FIRST PLACE AND MAKE ANYONE SAD. STUPID STUPID STUPID. Fine. I shall cool down and talk about the concert.
Starting was awesome. Very interesting. He was sort of kneeling on the floor or sth. Then yeah, he flew up and down ahha. Then there was she2wu3. Aiz so seductive la. Hmph. Haha how i wish i were the dancer aHAHAHAA. :D i bet i would do a better job lor, maybe i can dance de!!! HAHAHA :D yeah then he sang a few songs i didn't know-those old old ones- then he sang the third track of kua4shi2dai4!! hAHA. Then he was like, "谁看周杰伦的演唱会是坐着的？！" haha then everyone stood up!! But sadly, they sat down after a while. haha we continued standing, though! Hmmm, but jay seemed to pay more attention to the left. Like he threw many things to the left, but never towards our side leh. Then the attention also more to the left. Oh well, but nvm! He was still great! Then he sang yi3fu4zhi1ming2 too!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE! SO COOL MAN!! Haha and kua4shi2dai4, ke3ai4nv3ren2, wo3bu4pei4!!! And then when we thought he was leaving, he came out and sang 'gei3wo3yi1shou3ge1deshi2jian1!!! Hahaa. The piano was white and awesome. I WANT A WHITE GRAND PIANO!! HAHA. He was wearing a red suit thing and a red hat when he sang it. IT WAS HOT. HAAHAHA!! Then he took out a rose from the piano! AND THREW IT TO THE AUDIENCE. SIGH. He walked down to shake hands with people twice!! But sadly, i was too far away. Cat 3... aihh!! Yeah then i was telling tongjia, i wanted to hear him sing qi1li3xiang1. LOVE RIGHT! LIKE TOTALLY. Then we were all feeling damn sad and all 'cos it was gonna' be over and the audience wasn't high, then qi1li3xiang1 starting played!!! OMG LIKE I WAS OMGGGGGGG. AND THEN I VIDEO-ED THE WHOLE THING DOWN. Oh by the way, to crap with the cameras. So many people brought them!!! SIGH. I should have brought. Oh well... Doesn't matter bah, jay was quite far away anyway... Hmmm, then there was a segment where he played a video on his ten years in the market! It was hot!! Hahaa, and the background was chao1ren2bu4hui4fei1 but without the lyrics, only some parts were in. Haha, then he sent out a touching message to thank us for our support and etc... Haha, he was so cool. He talked damn fast, so most of the time, i didn't get what he was saying. LOL. I guess it's just me and my chinese lol. Hahaha. Oh yeah, then during the first part of the stand-up session, he did something very very special. He classified his songs according to themes-- summer, autumn and winter. Haha. For summer, he sang yang2guang1zai2nan4... and some other song! Haha! Then yeah, winter was yan1hua1yi4leng3. OH! THEN HE SANG XING1QING2!! And hei1se4you1mo4 too! :D i recorded xing1qing2 down, but it was when he went down to shake hands with the audience. Haha, mel, i recorded it down for you also lor, so you must see. So jay's hair was basically spiked up, and he looked very very sexy ahahhaha!! :D then his hair was all black and glittery! AHAHA :D so style. Pants very kua4shi2dai4 theme. And then the last part we were singing some fast beat song which i didn't know and then he was wearing this low cut tee with his standard necklace thing. WHOOTSS. Hahaha! :D so now i'm still sync-ing the vids i took down. I willed myself not to scream but i did scream at qi1li3xiang1. Sorry, throat. You're hurting now, but i am too, and tongjia is too, and prob jay is too! I hope he ain't! I LOVE YOU JAY!!! :( oh there was one part me and tongjia screamed zhou1jie2lun2wo3ai4ni3! I SCREAMED THAT. Then tongjia screamed zhou1jie2lun2. LOL we were supposed to scream the same thing la. HAHAHA :D but he couldn't hear sigh sigh sigh. Yknow the dvd i have of his concert, the people were totally high and kept screaming la, in singapore, really no qi4fen1. I am deeply saddened by this issue. LOL FORMAL LETTER WRITING! HAHAHA :D okay i dunno why i'm still lulling my time away now but whatever!!! I'M STILL FEELING VERY JAY!!!!! :( and not in the mood for w5, or for school. Oh yeah, there were things for us to clap, like the ones at ndp parade!! Hahaa and some hand thing. Oh i reached at 6:50pm and queued till 7:50 i think. To buy jay's stuff. Sadly, the ring was sold out :( i want the ring! It was totally sexy and hot. GODDDD I WANT IT NOW!! :( sigh. Anyway, i bought a necklace! THE JAY JOHNNY DEPP MIX ONE!! OH MY IT'S SO NICE. 30 BUCKS, NOT BAD FOR A JAY THING!!! HAAHAH :D and then there's the handphone chain thing. Haha doesn't look like jay leh! But whatever! Those were sorta' the last and nicest things left. Tees were sold out :( haha. I don't know why my hair is so awesomely smooth today! ahahaha. Oh yeah, in case you forgot what you wore, karin, you wore a nice skirt (grey with pleats.... is it pleats?) and a nice shirt (really, it was nice). Then 'cos sis took your silver rubberband, you made do with your BLUE butterfly clip which did not really match but still looked hot 'cos it was the colour of jay's hair in his kua4shi2dai4 pic. HAHA :D then nice la, your dressing was matching. SILVER :D haha omg i feel so ego. Maybe 'cos it's late and no encore. MY JAYYy!!!! :( sigh. oh yeah, there was this friendly cleopatra-looking lady who was quite cute. HAHA really! She started chatting with me about jay, then she treated me like i was her friend like that lol. Then like ask me which colour was nicer and then whether she should buy the doll, whether which necklace was nicer blah blah. HAHAHA very cute la she! Hahaha. All right. I guess i don't have much more to say already. If jay comes again, i'll grab the tickets and get the front row so he can throw a rose at me :D I'm thirsty. I ate chin chow when i came home, and i'm thirsy again :( oh well. Oh yeah, jay's piano skills rocked. He practically closed his eyes and played the pieces and sang. MAN! and dao4xiang1 was in piano :D but shuo1hao3dexing4fu2ne was changed to some fast beat thing. Haha. Then there was this ni3shi4wo3deOKbeng1. Very cute but sung by two guys. Jay only came out towards the end. That reminds me! The lyrics were very meaningful. So cute. :D haha. I didn't know jay had muscles! hHAHA :D watching hei1se4you1mo4 now :D AND JAY DID BEAT BOX TOO! HE ROCKS AND IS SO HOT. ALL RIGHT! Bye!

2010-07-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

jay chou today!!!! can't wait. and i love jaysean! :D
sorry mel :(printer ink is bursting :( i dunno why i am feeling so awake and gross. oh right, the glog. RAHH. We're not even done with anything yet! Sigh, but i've done my part le. Ah whatever la. Hmph. I shall think of sean and jay :D

2010-07-23T11:15:00.000-07:00

dead beat.
damn stressed.
damn tired.
wanna' sleep.
wanna' see jaysean.
sigh.

2010-07-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

你的笑
你的好
脑海里
一直在绕
我的手
忘不了你手的温度
心碎了一地
捡不回从前的感觉
深陷过去我无力逃跑
...
信誓旦旦给了承诺
却被时间扑了空
我知道你我都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情
回忆里待续

2010-07-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

I dunno what to say. Don't want to think anymore. What the hell. Sometimes it really hurts when you know how hard you've tried and then you screw it up in the end. When you know someone's been there for you all this while and all you can do is this little. Shit you, karin yeo. I HATE you!

...

thanks
it felt nice
and warm
and soft
aha
the nicest
feeling i've had
probably for
the fifteen years
in my life
i'll never forget this
thanks
but
i'm sorry
...
So i actually washed my hand in the end. STUPID MELODY YOU MILO DINOSAUR HEAD!!!!! PIG FACE! MILO FACE! Wah xia i really wanna' sha1 le ni3, ni3 zhi1 dao4 ma?! Argh. Haha. Still call me 'bitch' ah? Hhaha i call you milo face only leh! Hahaha. YOU OWE ME BIG TIME AH GERRR. :D football match at 2.30am!! RAHHH. HAHAHA :d why am i so feelingless now? Feelingless about my whole shitting oral. Maybe it's that i still have some hope, or maybe, i've given up hope completely. I'm sorry.

...

piano exam on 29 july. jay chou concert on 25 july. saved enough money already.

...

i feel so empty now listening to september by daughtry... Beautiful. Oh man, daughtry.. Fine. I just wanna' see you :(and then sometimes i wonder whether i'm really crazy. I think i am? I dunno. Life offers nth for me already. Maybe i'm just going on ... i dunno for what reason. can others understand how impt he is, or is it just me that's mad. mad mad mad. I don't like this. sl?maybe others don't see a need to hold on, but for me, i really need him around. I dunno, i just hate feeling so empty, and so alone, and so lost in this world without___. It's not just ___ yknow? It's... everything around me. I dunno. L... sigh.

2010-07-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

天空灰得像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
嗅出我们的距离
一幕锤心的结局
相呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
榨干了回忆
那笑容是夏季
你我的过去
被顺时针的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
粗心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给了承诺
却被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是分手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里待续

2010-06-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

don't want school to start,
guess i'll miss him.
tuihou by jay is so nice. Ahh. Love jay. Just... I dunno. I want things to stay this way. Don't feel like facing term3, don't feel like facing term3 feeling so far away from him. I really wish he'd be here, with me...
i dunno?
tuihou..

2010-06-25T02:18:00.000-07:00

i want a damn chanel necklace. Jay's necklace in hao3jiu3bu4jian4 is so hot. This is so not the first time he's worn it! CHANEL NECKLACE RAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :d
oh gosh.
i miss you :(

2010-06-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

i dunno
suddenly wanted
to talk to you
talked to mel today
she... i dunno what she thinks
she thinks
it's weird
nvm
i shall not over-think
just a friend
aiz
stupid people back
cannot blog

2010-06-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

感觉不一样了
一失去
就无法挽回
情绪零碎
精神崩溃
那天
我下定了决心
要为了你
为了不要辜负你
而努力
因为
我的心灵
得到了慰籍
你的关怀
使我感到好温暖
好温暖
但现在已不一样了
是不是我
想得太多？
我不知道
感觉好怪
好怪
我知道你好心
有时
我真想
回到过去
当我和你
素不相识
的时候
但是
唉
算了吧
感情要沉淀
才能写好
...
can't focus now 'cos sis has to sleep. I'm just very lost. Maybe i'm just thinking too much. I dunno. It's just, weird. I mean everytime the damn phone beeped, and when it did beep today, i thought it was mel but then it was ___. It's just, too weird. I needa' tell mel. Then maybe i'm just thinking too much again. Sigh. I don't know. It's just weird. I really like you a lot, but then again, the feeling's quite scary. I don't know.
i don't know.
...
too close for comfort

2010-06-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

thanks
i really appreciate whatever
you've done
for me
really
i am really touched. Thanks for caring :D I really didn't expect it either. Yeah, you're really great. Yknow, i don't feel that scared talking to you already. Yeah. Haha. 'cos maybe we're a little closer now. Aha :D you're a great person, i just hope we don't drift apart :D keep in contact k :D
...
MELODY. you never tell me! you pig pig pig girl. fine.Thanks for telling me though. have happy dreams of malaysia lol. I'm so hungry i wanna' eat fries. HAHA.
byebye!

2010-06-08T07:15:00.000-07:00

what happened?
don't get the wrong idea,
i didn't mean anything
are you okay?
i don't know whether you're angry with me
or just stressed about everything
or was it what i said
i'm sorry
i was just joking
i'm sorry i didn't consider
how you felt
i'm sorry i didn't consider
that you were stressed
or is it sth else?
you were not like that last time
what's wrong?
i'm sorry
...
stupid annoying people. so annoyed. i wanna' talk to tess. Stupid stupid stupid. so xian. Annoyed and bothered and shitty. Gosh.

2010-05-14T12:05:00.001-07:00

I dunno what that feeling was. It was... Weird. And i feel gross now, still. I dunno. It's just that i always think a lot. Either way, it didn't feel good at all to see you smiling like an ass to HER. Gosh. Whatever okay. This is so annoying. I dunno what the heck lah. Heck heck heck like i even care! I'm going to SLEEP.
STUPID PEOPLE=not worth your attention. WAKE UP WAKE UP.
so who cares if you're hot or not. who cares what you wear every week. who cares what the hell. who cares about . what the hell i'm not caring about this.
...
just watched the camp vid. it's making me feel worse. gosh stop all the flow of feelings. stop stop stop.

2010-05-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

So yeah. I'm feeling super gross and confused now. Like. I dunno. I know camp did rock and suck at the same time. But that ain't what's bugging me now. I dunno. I just feel lke I just can't fit in. Like i stick out like a stupid sore thumb. I dunno all right. It just sucks when you feel like you don't belong anywhere, anywhere you go. And it sucks even more when your mind incessantly and stubbornly throws you back to the past. I know i have to move forward, but somehow, it seems even harder for me to do so after this whole thing. I realised that I really don't belong anywhere. I don't belong in their world at all. We're just different people who can't clique together, or are staying together for the sake of it. Now I understand 150% why she did that. And then, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I know i shouldn't let my emotions get the better of me, but then I cried again today. Maybe I'm just making things difficult for myself. Maybe it's just me who wants to stay stagnant in the past, which will not repeat itself again.
...
I dunno how you feel about everything, and i wanna' talk to you about stuff, yknow? I just... There are so many things on my mind that I didn't tell you. I just feel so alone now, more alone than I ever did this year. Thanks for your efforts, and they did cheer me up. Thanks. I don't know how to proceed from here. I guess i'm just being a brat. I don't know how much difficulty you are facing now. If... If.. I dunno. It just feels embarrassing. I bet like most of your people already know who i am, i don't even know whether they find me irritating. I find myself annoying. Like, I just can't... I donno. Maybe my damn mind is in a whirlpool now. I'm gonna' practise numbing for a while then. I dunno. I think i'm just... Different. Probably why i don't fit in with so many other people. I just don't know why i can't move on properly like others do. Was that experience so impactful to shape me into this ugly shape i am in now? Or is it just me? JUST ME?? I don't know. I'm just so, so tired. And then sometimes i wish i knew how to be superficial, so that i wouldn't get hurt. Yeah i know it's selfish, but ain't the world an ugly one? I don't know. I just can't do it. I really detest superficiality, if there's such a word. I mean, hello, get a life man. Stop being so annoyingly selfish! Yeah, yes, I AM TALKING TO YOU. I am super pissed off with YOU know. Seriously. Gosh. Like if you think everyone's so stupid as to think that you're an okay person to go with, then you're wrong. I hope she sees the truth too. And not run away from it.
...
I am just blank now. I don't know what to do and i just wanna' run. Not away, but run-- to feel the breeze and the feeling of camp. The feeling of not being here. The feeling of being away from my work. The feeling of being away from stress. I guess I have to stop all that thinking now.
...
and then again, i wonder whether those superficial people ever feel the way i do. Or somewhere close to what i feel. Or is what they're thinking just: STUDIES AND TO BEAT THE REST? Like, i kill everyone on the battlefield but i don't care cos i win? I dunno. Sometimes, I guess i need to learn from these people. To be numb to feelings. And only feel one feeling. I sorta' figured what i have to do already.
...
goodnight. I'm not spending my time on this anymore. Gosh, i think i'm gonna' cry.
...
maybe i shouldn't have gone for camp
...
小时候的我们
肩并肩地
一起向前走
嘴里哼着
他的歌曲
不管别人怎么看
我们依然唱得好大声
好大声
没想到离别
是如此的痛苦
也许
是自己想得太多
也许
是自己不勇敢
不坚强
也许
是自己根本没有努力过
望着天上的星星；
许了个愿
字迹一瞬间就可擦掉
回忆却死死的烙印在脑海里
像永不愈合的伤痕

2010-04-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

How many million years have I not blogged? Ra. So super sleepy and I'm slacking now. Ah can't stand myself. Sigh. STOP SLACKING NOW, KARIN YEO. No I can't lah, too tired already. Sigh sigh. 我的眼睛真的要垂下去了:/ sigh. So anw, I am totally unaccomplished today. Rah. By the time I came home from choir, it was chao1 late. Raining+ traffic jam. Should've walked out. MEL LAH! AHAHAHA okay fine, we are like square le. :D haha. RAH and there's chinese oral on thu! RAH RAH RAH why can't it be on friday? RAH. So stupid. I don't like oral on thu. I like thu choir sessions more :D haha though we have more scoldings. :( oh well so yeah, today, Itsuki was very nice. Sorta' felt the song. Ha :D i hope we'll be able to build it up until when we sing, we can really feel the goosebumps man. AHHH :D i love that song. It's super nice! HAHA. :D oh well, so we had lit test today. Right, I'm not sure what i'll get, but i'm just glad i understood the passage. Lol i actually read the second page first, wondering "Eh... Why miss sri say the passage exceptionally lonnggg??" LOL then i saw the print behind wah xia. LOL but I didn't panic whatsoever lah ahha. :D rah i need something to lift my eyelids. :( hmmm... what else happened? Well, aha, my bday was awesome la, but now when i think of it, it reminds me of __ again. Sigh. I dunno okay, sometimes i really feel like just telling myself off and really deciding determinedly just to forget about him. Anyway, who are you to him, Karin yeo? Seriously. You're just being stupid. And you're wasting your time. You just don't want to not like him. dui4 bah? I dunno okay. I just... Like i can't stand it when I'm always lost for words around him. Like, why can't i just behave normally, react normally and talk normally? I just dunno. I can never, ever talk to you, you stupid person. You're just so... I dunno. Different. (my clique, stop giggling or smirking if you're reading my blog :D) Like seriously. I just feel so horrible. Again. It's always like that. It's always like that, I'm serious. Right, i know i'm repeating myself, but yeah. Emphasis? Lol. I dunno, i just feel so... distant. Yknow? Like maybe he really ain't that great, and then I should just forget about the whole damn idea. I dunno. All i know is that i'm wasting my time talking about someone who does not even care. I'm serious okay. Sigh. This is annoying. I guess I gotta' start making an effort to not like you then. Maybe, my life would be better off that way. Like, people wouldn't get bored of me blabbering on and on... And I too, would be able to... I dunno. Whatever lah okay, karin yeo. Get this straight :it's not gonna' happen.
...
lesson learnt: don't be so quick to judge a person. Someone who's nice can actually turn out to be nasty. 哈，就像“害人之心不可有，防人之心不可无”。:D why's the stupid font in italics? TSK. Fine. Yeah, must really jing3 ti4 yi4 xia4... Always maintain that barrier and learn to make proper judgements of people. Yeah must observe for longer period of time, and don't be too quick to say that a person is "nice", and later deem him/her to be lousy... aiyah 'cos this way, it'll turn out weird la. Okay don't mind me if you don't understand. These are just reflections lol. All right. I've blogged for twenty minutes. TSK lah. I think i needa' sleep le. All right then, tongue tied. Talk to you when i've got the time. AHA i don't ever have time. Correction: Talk to you when... I feel like it. AHA :D
"Do you have any idea... how important this bao1 means to me...?!!"
LOL. That is rah-rah.
:D
loves;
karin

2010-03-20T10:38:00.001-07:00

sometimes things just don't belong to you, no matter how much you want them to be. Then you keep asking yourself, others, and the whole world why don't you get things that you want. I think we have to learn to stop that. I have to.
You WHAT? I think i shall not think about it. Why should it bother me. I have to stop liking him sooner or later. But the feeling just hurts. I wonder how it felt for you anyway. I wonder how it felt for him. I dunno okay. I just know that this sucks. THANKS MEL. You made my day. EH you shouldn't tell me stuff like that next time lol. Makes me hate that person man. Whatever. Sis said he's ___! So i should not care. WHATEVERR.
...
it just seems so hard to see you
no matter how hard i try
i guess it's just fate then
and you've just
gotta' face the harsh truth
that screams back at you
...
when i'm with you!!! Faber drive. LOVE ttm.
...
school's reopening, and i'm falling sick. Damn. I think i've got that tornsill thing. Idk how to spell so yeah. WHOA MAN. Stupid. Then been feeling very cold these days. Had to wear jacket-.-''' hmmm... I'm thinking of taking a very cool picture. Need ideas! :D
...
two loves' bdays coming soon!! OMG. And i haven't bought anything yet. Man... Sigh. Mel! I wanna' lunch with you on friday :D Ash! I wanna' lunch with you on thursday :D
...
she's the love of my life
my love
ohhh my love
The League-My Love~
...
was playing the piano the other day... When i ended the piece, a wonderful picture was formed in my mind. It was of the four of us, on the beach just sitting together and looking at the sunset, with both tears and smiles on our faces, and the best of all: all our footprints in the sand.
...
"It's not such a pretty story." -Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
...
i'm glad i'm getting over him. But not him2... :( i'm such a bloody loser hua chi :( whatever.
TERM TWO! HELLO.

2010-03-19T10:33:00.000-07:00

The love of my life-- my L.O.V.E.
...
ALICE IN WONDERLAND!! OMG johnny depp was super hot like OMG OMG OMG!! HAHAHA i love j depp. He's super cool, and sexy! Haha thumbs up to you, man! :D you made the show rock. You know it's just this charm that irradiates from him... draws you to him like he's a magnet... :D haha i love johnny depp! HHAHA. Hope there'll be POTC 4. Heard that there would be.. Oh well. :D
...
hmm... I think i'm getting over a lot of things. As in not for real, but for now. As in... Yeah. Oh well. The thing is not to get your hopes too high. Never expect much, and you won't be disappointed.
...
it started off a day
when i was all alone
don't even know where i am goin'
and that's when i saw you there
i tried to say hi
but somehow i just couldn't
don't even know where i am goin'
i just couldn't bring myself to say it
say it
am i allergic to you
everytime you walk past me
i just can't look at you
and then i catch you starin' at me
do you feel the same way as i do
and then i realise
there's no more time
the more i try to see you
the more i can't
and then i just tell myself
to go up and say hi
'cos i won't say
i won't say goodbye
i won't say goodbye
till i say
hi

2010-03-03T02:47:00.000-08:00

'cos sometimes things
are just too hard to bear
you will yourself
not to cry
but then again
those bitter tears
spill out involuntarily
when you know that
things have changed
and you've gotta' move on
and you're trying
so hard
and everyone
has managed it
i think i should just
give up on you
anyway
i don't mean anything
anymore
you know you don't
have to say it
to my face
but it's
so very obvious
that you're
avoiding me
forget it
then

2010-02-22T02:02:00.000-08:00

whoa shit. the dumb shit cereal is so dumb shit vomit-ey. omg i wanna' puke :/

2010-02-15T08:42:00.000-08:00

WHOO! HAHAHA omg I love JAY!! :D hahaha. Went to watch True Legend today hahaha. OMG. I was like, waiting and waiting for jay to come out la omg. HAHAHA. Then right, suddenly got some nice nice music play! AHAHA then i saw this person in blue climbing the mountains. LOL then I was like, "EHHH!!! THIS MUST BE JAY! I TELL YOU IT'S JAY!!! THE MUSIC IS VERY NICE, SO MUST BE JAY.." HAHAHAHAHAHA then when they shot michelle yeoh my sis laughed. HEHEHEHE. Then I asked my mum, eh... This show really got jay ah?!! HAhahaa then she said yeah. THEN LOL LAH. I saw this white colour person running with a black guy on top. LOL I thought jay was the black guy lahhh!! HAHAHA then I was like, "EH THAT'S JAY!!" Hahaha omg then my sis was like, "NO LAH!! I THINK IT'S THE WHITE ONE!" ahahaha! Then in the end, it WAS THE WHITE ONE. LOLLL the whole cinema laughed when jay came out. LOL I guess they were looking out for him too! Hhahaha I LOVVEEE JAY!! :D hahaa. HEHEHE. Jay was wushu master HAHAHA. OMG HE'S SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPERRRRRR COOL!!! hahaha. OMGGGGG. Hahaha. ESP THE PUB PART. OMG HE WAS SO STYLE WITH THE DAMN HAT LA.. HAHAHA. And his jeans. It was folded!! hahahahaha so style. And he fought while he was drunk. HAHA. Oh well, the show was very meaningful! REALLY, not just cos jay was there and all. LOL. It's about this family ties thingy la. Haha very touching! :D haha. Yeah, we must uphold the chinese spirit of 'jian1chi2bu4xie4, yong3bu4fang4qi4"!!! HAHA. Omg i'm so proud to be a CHINESE!! :D hahaha. Yeah really la! Hahaa. Oh then gang1hao3 when we were on our way back, our taxi driver sort of 'can1jia1' in our convo HAHAHA. Then he started talking about chinese and stuff :D ahaha. I was interested la duh! Hahaa. It turned out that he studied chinese lit, and worked in china for 14 years (WHOA...) ahaha. yeah, he basically told us about chinese history and all. LOL then so fast reach home le!!! :( haha! I really wanted to learn more. Haha. Hey it was interesting lor. Haha. Yeah so back to the show. It sorta' wanted to prove that chinese people should not be looked down upon. Yeah, why should chinese people be looked down upon huh? Sometimes i don't really get why.. :/ We're awesome, aren't we? :D :D :D haha. Omg I.AM.VERY.HIGH. HEEHEE :D okay okay! So yeah. It's basically that la :D I am happy ;D HEEHEE. All right, off to bed! :D

2010-02-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

不知道你现在
在再做什么
唯一的感觉
是
一片空白
脸上带着微笑
心里却如此的痛
...
she has a picture
etched in her mind
of someone she once treasured
and whom she
still treasures
no matter what
she still loves that someone
and she didn't expect
how much it would
break her heart
when that someone called
and another rejected
that someone
when that someone
merely wanted to deliver something
for all of us
she doesn't wanna see
that someone
cry
after all
she found out
that someone
means a lot
to her

2010-02-12T09:07:00.000-08:00

Sigh. CNY's sorta' here, but I dunno why I ain't really that happy. Oh well, maybe I can dig out all the answers now but yeah. Don't feel like saying yknow? So I scored horribly for my geog and yes, chinese. Okay I really don't wanna' dwell too much on it. It will just zoom me back to emo mode. Oh well. I guess I'm just not very happy this year? I dunno. It's like, I get irritated so easily, and then it's like nothing doesn't seem to go right. Or maybe it's just me that ain't right. Cos maybe I just stick out like a sore thumb. And then you. Why... I just don't get it... Why are you... Like this? Maybe everything's wrong about me right now all right. I dunno. I just feel a cold barrier that's surfacing btw us. Maybe I just don't understand you. But you know, I really would like to talk to you. It's just that I can't ever find the time to... It's just... We can't ever meet. And then honestly, when I don't see you smile, I really feel uneasy. It's like, sometimes I really feel like I'm a fool, jumping around happily when I see you and then you just give me that blank look and prob say hi. I just... I'm not angry yknow? I just needa' know why you're like this. Was it sth wrong that I did? Or.. Stress? You know i'm always here to listen.. And though compared to you, I'm not matured, but you're still my best friend yknow? And I miss you. I miss the old happy you, and I miss my old self too. When I thought things were at their worse, it turned out that they weren't, 'cos I feel lousy now. I'm really worried for you.
...
A wanted to talk to B. She was really very excited. B listened for a moment. C said, "I'll leave first k..?" B shot, "I go w you..." A waved goodbye to B. She forced a smile, but then deep down, she felt terrible. She wanted to cry.
...
and then the best thing is that. I just dunno how to phrase it. It's sorta like... A has a pet, but then unfortunately, it died.. And then B comes along happily, enthusiastically chirping about her pet. It's just... I dunno. Maybe you could say A is jealous of B having a pet. Maybe. But then again, A doesn't wanna' lose anymore. She has lost too many. And it really pains her each time. She just has to try to be enthusiastic.. She doesn't wanna' upset anyone. Can B stop, for a while? At least for a while? You know it really hurts when B goes on harping about her pet? A misses her pet too, doesn't B know? Why doesn't B understand? A reckoned she would. But then A realised that at the end of it all, she was wrong.
...
Is it 'cos it's at night, and that's why i'm feeling so karin? Idk. I just miss 2faith. I hate it here now. It's as if I'm being thrown into this jungle, to live with people whom i know, but who seem just so different..
...
Ha, my clothes are nice, dharlin? LOL yes aline, you lossaahhh lahh!! LOL say wrongly la. Shouldn't be he said that lah LOL. Meg's mummyyy said most prob is MY IDEA IS GREAT AHAHAHA. And my sis said too LOL. Aline, don't make me scream for nth again horh LOL LAHHHH hahaha okay i'm very happy just thinking about him! Hahaha. OMG it's 1:30?!!! DDDFFFFFFF LAHAHAHAAHHAAH!!!!! SHIT PHYSICS, HAVEN'T STUDY YET RAHH RAHH RAHH AH AHHH AHHHHH!! RAMAHH... RAH MAMA, GAGA OOH LALA!!!!!!! OMGOGMGOGMGG. Nvm, I'm gonna' shui4jiao4 after this :D HEEEH HHEEEH HEEEHH.
...
i was looking
into the distance
squinting
staring
looking for
you
then it broke
my heart
when i didn't see
you there
but at the
end of it all
i rose
and there you were
i smiled
thanks dude
i don't care what they say
really
cos i guess i look at
your heart
and really
i think you're handsome
...
hey, that's "mei3 de biao1 zhun3" is it? I don't get it still. Stupid passage. I guess i need you.

2010-02-05T21:34:00.000-08:00

you can be walking through a sea of people
who are smiling
laughing
enjoying themselves
but then deep down
you feel
awfully
lonely
...
Sop 2, huh? Accept it then. I consider it as a demotion, though they claim 'they need me'. I bet it just doesn't work that way. It's okay, if I really can't sing, why can't they tell it to my face that I can't? It's even more hurting when someone comes up with a 'lie' just to cover the very harsh truth that screams very loudly at you.
...
Maybe there really aren't much things to smile about in life. Thanks, tan. You were really awesome, and caring. I really didn't expect you to come up to me. Thanks. It's just, when you came over, I really felt a little better. And then when you left, I willed myself not to cry anymore. Then suddenly aloh came up and then it made everything come again. Ex-2faithians started gathering round, which made me cry even more. I really miss you guys man. Sometimes you really gotta' move on, but with all the tears and all, I guess i need more time.
...
6:45p.m. I'll rmb that time. You were nice, but not as nice as i thought you were.

2010-01-30T09:15:00.000-08:00

SO!! I just slammed my chem book shut. Oh man. Haha no no, I ain't angry. It's called satisfaction lol. No lah, was researching for my phy project. Omg I just found out that it really is interesting. Haha, much better than silly stuff you learn from the tb... Oh well. And then I went searching for diamond pics and all. Gosh I didn't know that diamonds could actually bring a smile on MY face, especially the pink diamonds. Gosh, a real beauty haha. I WANT PINK DIAMOND, SEAN! Lol. Yeah so basically, I'm sorta' done with my research. Will go do some more tmr. Oh and chem notes not uploaded yet huh, air-leeen? Haha silly la... :( OH. I have nice chinese new year clothes!! Haha but my skirt's a little too long. Nvm haha. AND I LOVEEE MY PJS!! Haha what, who says you can't wear pjs when you're 14 huh? Lol or 15? Haha it's cute okay. Oh then... Let me think! Oh yeah. I haven't finished my letter for mel. Shall finish it tmr haha. Oh well... Hmmm... Needa' stay back for english remedial next week. Well, I've screwed all my tests so far, and I mean it-SCREWED. Really. It really isn't fair okay. Stupid english. WHY NO CALIBRATION?!!! Tsk ttm man. Stupid. This is super uber dumb shit. Oh then math. Another dumb shit. Then geog. The dumbest shit on earth. Ming2ming2 wrote on the paper that NA plate and eurasian plate are DIVERGING, and guess what? I put CONVERGING. Wallao eh chao1 ben4 ni3 zhe4 ge4 ren2... Sigh.
So. I emo-ed on friday. Man, really emo okay. I just couldn't get the damn amath questions like shit ttm lah. Stupid man. Then after that I started thinking of 2faith, of how much i missed all of them man... Then totally xian4 ru4 emo mode. Sigh. Oh well. I hate amath, that's a sure thing. But yknow, I guess God's always here for me. Yeah really, thanks Jesus!! :D i mean, He never fails to give me things that cheer me up, and Lord, really, thanks!! :D hahaha. I shan't say HERE :D but anyway, yeah, I'll _______.
...
stop looking down on me, you stupid biased blind people. Get your dirty, grimy, filthy hands off me. All of you, leave me alone, you assholes. I hate all of you to the earth's core.

2010-01-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

Dear god-avenged sevenfold. Beautiful.
...
It's like, everything's just falling apart all over again. She said that the past is history, so quit going back to it. But I still miss you a whole lot. I just miss all the memories, though there weren't many. There was magic. Magic. I don't want you to leave. Please don't? You're too hot.
...
1year. 1year.
...
you stupid copycat and flirt. Who said you could wear that? -.-''' stupid. Only know how to copy other people. I know he's cool la, but you're nothing compared to him okay. Please have some originality.
...
qing2tian1.
...
50 for english. 63 for hcl. I'm falling.
...
mafagicfic.

2010-01-19T07:35:00.000-08:00

在书房里挥动着铅笔
一直想着你
你说过
随便一个人都能代替你
你说过
你会在那里
但是
感觉以不一样了
我不能像以前那样
回想起
你所说过的
一切
回想起
你那笑脸
痛心的是
这一成了过去
不再回来
担心；
忧虑；
我能怎么办？
可能你会说
这是我心态
的问题
可能你会说
我没有给他
一次机会
可能你会说
我没有努力
但是
感觉以不一样了
好想你
...
从前从前
有个热奶你很久
但偏偏
风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易
又能再多爱一天
但股市的最后
你好象还是说了
拜拜

2010-01-10T07:04:00.000-08:00

Maybe some things just aren't meant to stay. Thanks for the memories, then.
...
School was... Gross. Hate it. I mean, with all the new adjustments and all, it sucks. And like I really miss all our teachers and faithians. Sigh. I just feel... Different. Yknow? Sigh. Ha and I miss kai yin! :( haha just realised that she always makes me happy. Oh well...
...
I guess we just weren't meant to be. We're like from two different worlds. No actually we are from two different worlds. You don't belong in my world, and I don't belong in yours as well. It's just... You're just different to me, I guess. I guess I just can't talk or communicate well with people I like, as in, this case, it's one-sided. And for the umpteenth (idk how t spell but yeah), I'm telling myself to forget about you. Yeah, that's what I really, really strive to do now. And yeah, not to like anybody. For the time being. And as for you, I know I've had feelings for you since I know when, but it's just... I dunno. I don't want to get hurt. Don't like to get hurt, so the best thing is to be numb to the both of you, esp you, sean. __, you're more of the type I really can talk to, that I can 'clique' with. But.. yeah. It feels different when I'm with both of you. Maybe it's different kinds of 'like', huh?
...
When you smiled, who were you smiling at?
When you looked up twice, who were you looking at?
...
Sometimes you just gotta' be strong
cuz you just dunno what might happen
in the span of a few days
or months
or weeks
Sometimes you just gotta' tell yourself
to stop relying on others
cuz they'll leave you in the end
no matter what they say
Sometimes you just gotta' set
your priorities right
and get yourself ready
for the challenges ahead
and that's what I'm tryna' do now.

2010-01-02T06:33:00.000-08:00

OMG. Jay chou rocks like heaven!!! OMG. Haha tried playing the secret theme song :D whoa, I spent 3 hours on the piano today! Oh man, really love playing the piano!!!! :D haha. How I wish i wasn't a singaporean. Okay this really ain't patriotic, but at least it wouldn't be so stressful. Then I'd wanna' be born in TAIWAN or AMERICA or somewhere where I can become famous! :P lol. I've always wanted to be a singer/actress since I was young. Sigh, but I'll never make it big in singapore :( sigh sigh!! Oh well. Enough of my daydreams. I think I really am going crazy with all my daydreaming about jay man lol. Hope I'll be in the right 'mode' to start school on monday... :( hopefully i won't daydream in class. Gosh lah :( still in jay chou crazy mood. Like seriously CRAZEHHH. Haha.
Mel, don't change cca lah!! :( then you can play all the jay chou songs for me on your cello, YAHHH?? :D
miss you f6!! :D
aha.jay!

2010-01-01T07:24:00.000-08:00

Oh my god. I sure can't start school like this. Yeah, I'm going crazy-ER over jay. Gosh, it's like last time I like shaun chen that time. Gosh. That feeling! Just that this feeling is even more!! :/ gosh. I love jay man!
Happy new year. Hey Jesus, I pray that this year will be a great one, Lord. Please guide me in my studies, and help me to stay strong. Be with me yeah? :D
JAY!!!!!!!!! SUPPORT JAY. WATCH TREASURE HUNTER COS IT ROCKS STEADEHHH.

2009-12-30T07:11:00.000-08:00

我知道
喜欢你不对；
爱你；
也不对
但是...
你那笑脸
能使我开心；
你的声音
像黑夜里给我带来温暖
的一盏明灯
一只告诉自己：
不要再想你；
一只告诉自己：
应该把你放弃；
但每当听起那首歌
每当看见你
我就无法控制
那种弥漫我的心的快乐
我知道
喜欢你不对；
爱你
也不对；
但是...
今天对你的爱
不会变
明天对你的爱
也不会变
对你的爱
永不会变

2009-12-29T07:01:00.000-08:00

Now I realise that you actually mean a lot to me. Maybe you're the only person whom I've liked for such a long time. Seems like I still can't forget you... I thought I could forget you, I tried to convince myself that you were a jerk, but I find myself making excuses for you yet again. One-sided, huh? Yeah, you'll never ever know that I ever liked you. Anyway, I'm nobody to you. Then I try to like someone else, but then again, they just can't replace you, in my heart. I thought I could force myself not to like you anymore, but when I _____, I found myself looking everywhere for ____, and I just kept turning around when I thought I saw someone who looked like you. I found myself grinning when I heard someone like you. Maybe it's become a natural reflex, I dunno. Then again, I ask myself why should I continue liking someone who doesn't even care a least bit about me. Sure, you indirectly didn't do anything, but your doing has really hurt me. Hurt me bad. Men are just a mystery. Stupid jerks.
ALL MEN ARE JERKS! SEAN, YOU'RE THE NO.1 JERK.
...
you're fucking irritating. Yeah, I mean it, you are FUCKING irritating. Quit all your stupid acts, can't you? Do you think you're CUTE? EHH MAHH GAWWDDD. You're SO not, okay? Please, look at yourself, all right? You're not in the state for all these. It's FRIGGIN' unhealthy for ME too. I just can't stand you. You're really super duper uber GROSS. Really. Why are you just forgetting what you should be doing? Are you undergoing some kinda' illness or smth? Huh? Fuck man. Fuck, really, fuck. I'm really pissed off. All of you. Undergoing some kinda' illness. Stupid selfish assholes. And what? Not even bother to reply THREE of my messages. So is that it? You call that ____? No, I'm sorry, you're not fit to ___ me. All right? 'cos even they are better than you. Really, loads better. At least they understand, and they're here. What about you? Just care about yourselves when that's the last thing you should do. Really, they can think better than you, REALLY. Stupid you. ALL OF YOU. SUCK SHIT.

2009-12-28T07:14:00.000-08:00

2009-12-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

So. Went out to celebrate jac's bday today! Haha it was fun :D AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE ASHLEY'S FARTING CHAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHHA. Man I think i'll dream that i'm at ashley's house playing with her farting chairs. HAHAHA. It's really amusing okay lol lah. HAHA. So i was late today, ahaha but JAC WAS THE LATEST. HALF AN HOUR LATE HUH JAC. Lol. Thought what happened to her xia. Hah so we went to some cake shop to buy jac's bday cake, and took 806 home to ash's house. Ha i'm having a bad headache now :/ man really bad! Sync-ed the songs (syncing) (thanks, jac :D) BUT THE PHOTOS CAN'T BE SYNCED? Oh well, nvm... I'll miss the photos leh! Lol. Anyway my hair is still wet :/ haha. Oh well. Oh yeah then we lazed around at ashley's house then we had lunch. Haha ham and turkey! Surprisingly, turkey is not bad! Never tasted turkey before haha, but it was nice! :D haha. Then we went to the function room. WHOO it was very cool leh haha. Got pool table and disc player and sofas. AND A TOILET! Haha. Sadly, we didn't bring any discs (only jac brought her disney one). I didn't know we were going to function room laaaaaahhh. If not i bring all my discs le, and we can KARAOKE!! :D haha. So i dunno how we spent so much time there, 'cos we went back again after we ate jac's cake haha. Jac was laming with her birthday sunglasses. OOH AND I LOVE THAT SOCCER GAME THING!! Haha we had like TOURNAMENTS and all lol. 2 vs 2. It was cool! Ha and this ash, play very well luhr! Haha now my hand has those weird blod clot stuff. Guess I was too ji1dong4 bah. Lol prob with me is that i can't multi-task lah. So i was using my left hand to play ahah. And as usual, I was a little chi2 dun4. Then we took pictures and all :D OH YEAH YEAH YEAH LET ME ELABORATE ON THE FARTING CHAIRS!!!!! LOL lah. So dunno who leaned back first and then there was a farting sound, or maybe all of us leaned back at different times, which contributed to the different 'farting timings' lol. Then we started playing with our chairs, ESPECIALLY THIS JAC LA!!! LOL lah, make me laugh like crap. She and her pig rabbit lol. Then she said, "EH LET'S FART WITH BEAT!!!" then aline and her starting farting with beat OMG LAHHHH. Hahahahhaa then she tried to do the long fart thing. Then we started talking about farts. Jac said there was some person in America's Got Talent who managed to fart out some opera song. Then megs was like, "Huh won't the whole place be very smelly/" LOLLLLLL HAHAHAHAHAHA. Too bad mel's chair couldn't fart LOL, then she was like, "I know lah, all of you are actually really farting right!!" hahahahaha. Then i traded seats with her when we were eating, then she had quite a happy time farting WHAHAHAH. She started singing happy birthday accompanied with farting sounds. HAHAHA. And ash as usual, was quiet. ahaha OOH FROZEN STRAWBERRIES. How i wish i don't have sensitive teeth ahaha. Oh well, then that was about it bah! Haha it was really fun. Time passed damn quickly man, then sadly, aline couldn't join us for dinner. Her dad came to pick her up. So ash, jac, megs, mel and I went to northpoint to have dinner, xin wang is it? Or Hongkong cafe?? Ah never mind. Hahaha. OH YEAHHH!!! We had gift exchange AHAHAHAHA AND SORRY ASHEEEEEE. AAHHHAHA i'm so sorry, i'll give it to you when sch reopens kay! :D ahahaha. WHOOHOOO. I'm so damn sleepy man. I.HAVE.A.THROBBING.HEADACHE. ALALALALALAA i don't rmb anything else le... Haha oh well, i shall say bye then! Haha today was great!!!! :D

2009-12-19T08:00:00.000-08:00

i dunno how to feel anymore. I dunno how to feel anymore. I dunno what to feel. I hate you. All of you are selfish. SELFISH. I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AM I BLIND TO YOU? OR ARE YOU BLIND TO ME?

2009-12-19T07:59:00.001-08:00

heartbeat.
why.
i hate all of you.

2009-12-18T08:49:00.003-08:00

Working on that scrapbook... Hope you'll like it. Hope you'll change your mind... I miss you.

2009-12-14T06:28:00.000-08:00

So! My com crashed yet again. Oh well. At least I've got ____. :D thanks. :D Yeah so we went out the other day on wed. Quite fun la haha. New moon was... quite boring luhr. BUT I STILL SUPPORT EDWARD!!! :D heehee. Don't like that jaacob guy though he's hotter. Edward's still cooler! Haha :D oh then this mel ah, cannot sit still ah!!! TSK LAH. One minute put her leg on the seat in front, then later stretch, then later pretend she has a gun and go shooting at whoever's on the screen. So obviously I dao-ed her 'cos I wanted to watch my edward!! LOL :D then... oh before that megs, jac, mel and i went to far east there to eat lunch then we finally fulfilled mel's wish to go to liDOOO haha. Then we took pictures and all in the cinema. So before we got into the cinema, we went to pee, then this mel ah, suddenly open one woman's cubicle (it wasn't locked). Then xeh!!!! XIA4 LE YI1 TIAO4. LOL LAH. Cos it was squat, so it was... yeah i guess you know le bah. LOL i was looking in the mirror, then from the reflection I saw ____. Wallao I stone xia. Then we all faster zao LOL lah. Hahahaah! Okay lah. Sorry okay, whoever. Mel really didn't mean to... Open your cubicle. Lock yeah? :)
...
Haha went out with tess on saturday night!! :D haha. It was quite fun! Haha met at 5 plus going 6. Then we basically walked around aimlessly until 7, talking and talking and talking about so much things we needed to catch up on. LOL this tess ah, really lame lah i tell you! Haha i rmb she did really a lot of lame things, then i was like, "Eh! You very lame leh!" Then she said, "No lah, I still can walk." WALLAOAOOOOO. LOL LAH!! Haha then after that, I was talking about dunno who, then I was like, "Then ah... The guys boobs were like so big!!..." then a guy in front of us looked at us (not in that bue3 song4 way) LOL lah. Then after that she was like, "Omg i dunno you!!" Hahaha then i laugh laugh laugh then accidentally stepped on the guy's foot :S wallao total embarrassment laH!!! HAHA. Oh well. haha then we went foodrepublic to eat. And after that, we walked around wisma. Woah xeh then there was this guy, he suddenly go and hold my hand and started crapping lah!! OMG so scared :( jie4 shao4-ing some dead sea thing lah i dunno. Wah lao scare the shit out of me man! :S haha. Then we went to taka to take pics. Haha this tess ah, keep 'chopping' my head off from the pic. Haha and yeah lah, I know your pic skills very good la sista! Lol:D okay. Haha oh yeah then after I ate, I kept complaining I had stitchES, then tess was like, "No, one side only is stitch." I was like "..." Haha. Then after that I was like, "Eh! I got stitch!!" Then she said, "I got lilo." wallao LOLLLLL. So I'm getting a little angry now cos that stupid guy and girl are coming home soon and I have to rang4 wei4 again. Freak this isn't their home!! !! :(
...
selfish. selfish. selfish. Why...
...
Bird, you're really nice, but what if you change one day? Please don't? Then I try not to be so close to you, 'cos what will happen next time if you ever change your mind? Please don't, bird.. Don't.
...
Thanks for smsing me back :D i thought you wouldn't. It made me feel better, really, though you couldn't do anything :D thanks, really.
So nothing is really accomplished today since my real com isn't with me. I guess I just have to try to upload the pics and get the ipod thing done another time yeah...
ttfn! this com is taking hours :(

2009-12-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

YOU'RE SUCH A HAI3BIAN1!!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh. Stupid you.
...
thanks.
...
i am so pissed off with you you stupid stupid stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP USING ALL MY THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!! FFFFFFFFFFFF. EXCUSE ME YOU'RE A FREAKING GUY AND THEN YOU USE MY TOWEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU STUPID SISTER OF MINE, YOU LET him USE my TOWEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID I EVEN SAY yes? GIVE ME A FREAKING SAY LAH WA\KAOOOOOOOo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN TAKE MY BOOK WRAPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I STILL GOT BOOKS HAVEN'T WRAP WANNA' FINISH LE LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BEST THING IS THAT YOU USE THEM FOR? him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WALLALALALALALALALALALAOOOOOO!!!!!!!! THEN I PUT PASSWORD TO MY COM SO MR NICE GUY WON'T BLAST MY DAMN SPEAKERS AND USE MY COMmm!mmm!m!m!na!mm!am!mm! THEN STUPID SISTER GOES TO PRINT SOME BLOODY DOCUMENT AND WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN I TURN ON THE FREKAING COM, I SEEEEEEEEE....... ANOTHER USER CALLED 'FFFFFING _____' (the ffffing is i put one) WITH A PERSONALISED PASSWORD. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAA
PPPPOOOOIKII.!!!! AND THEN YOU ON AIRCORN EVERYDAY YOU THINK NO NEED MONEY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID BOYFRIEND.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU TOOK MY MONEY DON'T WANT TO RETURN!A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANGRY ANGRY ANGYR ANGRYWR ANGYERHWEWJKLFRJKLSDJKASDJKLASDJKLASDKLADJKLADJKL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STPUPIISDDD STUPID STUPID.
...
eh lah mel, you ask ppl to come online then never come online! tsk xia. 2 times tried to catch you le!
...
sat on my bed last night when i turned off the lights. then i started singing xing1qing2. lovely! :D
...
ta1shi4... Mabellieee...
...
blue nails is the new sexehh! :D

2009-12-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

I think the feelings I have of you are slowly wearing out. Maybe my mind is filled with other things huh. I dunno. Just feeling very horrible. I don't wanna' be framed as a crazy person. Canfanyoufouifimafaginefine? Obviously you can't. Nobody understands how this screwed up girl feels. I feel so bloody screwed. Stupid. And then all I know how to do is cry. Was this me? I don't think so. Time brings great changes huh? Why not good ones, then?
Merry Christmas... Lol christmas. What a joke.
Do you think I wanna' be the way I am now? Of course, you could say that I just don't want to, not that I can't. I'm not as strong as you. Nobody understands. Maybe i'm just a stupid pain in the ass. Correction: I am. Lol even you don't understand. And you claim to be a __? Stop assuming things and let ME talk. Even if I do, maybe no one will understand. Yeah, no one. Nothing helps anymore. I don't want to ____ the ____. I don't want. I don't want to ____ on___. That's retarded. Gosh I...
iwantahappypill

2009-11-30T07:58:00.000-08:00

I realised today that I have to move on. 'Cuz i know you will, and you've said you will. I guess there'll just be this awkardness again. Maybe it'll go back to sec 1 mode, i dunno. Anyway, I'm in a lousy mood today. Life sucks. FFFFFF.
they say
life doesn't go
the way you want
it to
but i feel it
is worse for me
maybe it's true
that all good things
come to an end
forever
I hate this life.

2009-11-26T07:45:00.000-08:00

TONGUE TIED!!! I've got so much to tell you man! Seriously. All right starting from tuesday. Haha okay so basically, I was off to mel's on tuesday. Haha thanks mel, for taking the train to bishan to find me! :D haha. I wore my sister's yellow class tee and the yellow and black fbts and school shoes without socks haha. Then my friendship bands and my bag 'loaded' with stuff lol. Haha so before I reached bishan, mel kept hurry-uping me 'cos she arrived earlier or sth. Lol so ah, I was listening to flipside, then suddenly I heard this BAM!!!! sound in my head, then I was like, oh shit, that's jenny playing. Omg lah, dunno why all my dumb click five songs are so damn loud. I seriously mean damn damn loud. Gosh, flipside was okay, so I onned it loud-normal volume. Then wah xeh, the stupid jenny killed my ears lah!! So I quickly pressed the fast forward button (apparently, I didn't really know what I was doing then 'cos the sound was really horrible.) I guess I looked pretty retarded 'cos I shook my head back and forth when I first heard jenny lol. I thought what was that lah!! And then I guess I looked like I was in pain too, though I didn't make a sound (really!) 'cos the two rows of people sitting down were staring at me. Wah xeh... no face le lah :( haha okay oh man I guess I elaborated too much on the click five songs! LOL today's blog post will be long, really really LONG. So, bear with me tongue tied :D so I met mel, then I told her twice or thrice that I didn't wear socks, and that I would stink up her whole house HAHAHA, then we went to heartland mall to eat kfc. Haha then I said I didn't wanna' eat chicken 'cos I'd been eating very unhealthy food for the week, then she was like, "WE'RE IN KFC!!!" okay lor mel. And I still owe you the 3.30 okay, stop being irritating :D haha. Then after that, we talked about sean, justin, cal and ____. Haha. Then she suddenly asked me whether I knew some cai3hong2 song by ou1de2yang2. LOL lah, then she started singing. "HONG SE DE..." wallao make me laugh like crap lah, her 'hong' sounded like 'horng'. HAHAHA. Okay okay. So we walked back to mel's house. Wah xeh. I tell you. Her house is damn nice!! Seriously, it's damn quiet and her house is big lor. Tsk lah. Haha so many nice little cutesie plants, esp the cacti! :D haha. So I said hi to her parents, then she faster said we were going up 'cos she was afraid I would start talking very loudly and suddenly say, you know what :D haha. Her parents were very nice! Haha. So we watched a tale of two sisters... Chei lah. Not scary de lor. Really. Haha, though I was a little spooked at the beginning. But now, seriously not scary le. Haha. Though the black ghost part looks scary!! Haha. She watched, I didn't. Then she told me that there was a hand!! AHHHH okay i'd better not say now. Scary xia!!!! ): ): Haha. Okay so then, after that she got a little bored. We got a little bored, rather. Haha, so it we randomly surfed the net. Like she let me see some san1guo2yan3yi4 thing... then we watched MVP qing2ren2 for a while but it hanged so yeah LOL. Haha then I dunno leh, I wasn't really in the mood to sing songs. Quite stony. Then i dunno when she turned on the songs. Then I felt like singing again. Haha. We looked through all our photos this year. Then we talked about my situation, and gang1 hao3 peng2 you3 was playing. Then what lah, we talked about next year. Then silly me cried again. Stupid la! Really, peng2 you3 is really meaningful. Esp the hai2yao4zou3, hai2you3wo3. Man. Haha then she decided to bring me down to see her cactus. HAHA. Nice! She took a picture and we drank yakult. LOL kept quarrelling that it's orange! It's PEACH LA!! :D hahaha. Then we went back up. Continued listening to songs and singing. Then I wanted to take pic. Haha so we took retarded pics. And got tie 2 one. LOL then mel was like, 'eh! tie 2 need to part center parting leh!' LOL then i looked at her, confused. Then we both burst out laughing HAHAHA. She must have realised she was wrong le bah. LOL. I realise I used a lot of 'then's. OH WELL ANYWAY, THEN we played some board games. Haha then dunno why play until the time pass so fast ): then mel's mum came in the room, then we said gn and then we played for a little while more before brushing teeth ahhaa. Then we slept le lor, mel was sleepy la, could tell. But somehow or rather, we ended up talking till 2. HAHA. But obviously I couldn't sleep. So I switched on my ipod and listened to songs. Oh well, luckily mel was a sorta' heavy sleeper. She didn't hear me cry. Oh well, I cried la... Was thinking of ___, and the___. Then I sniffed occasionally 'cos my nose was blocked like crap. Lucky she never wake up xia. Oh mel, if you're reading, sorry I used your dino blanket to wipe my tears ): haha. You can wash it ha. So that was it bah. OH YES. YES YES YES. This mel ah, sleeping also make noise one! She sighed halfway, then I was like, "MEL! YOU AWAKE AH?!" ... no response. "mel??"... I whispered, but I guess she was sleeping. Then suddenly she rolled over to my side. Wah lah melody ah. I wanna' kill you lor. Then the fan was blowing at me, and somehow the majority of the blanket ended up with her, so I was shivering while hugging her dale bolster. TSK LAH. Haha then I kept waking up halfway. So basically, the next morning, I was stoning in bed. Then she suddenly went, 'EH! YOU WAKE UP ALREADY AH?' wah xeh, scare me lah. Haha. OH YEAH WE PAINTED NAILS! AHAHA right hand blue then left hand is we ownself paint de. Haha. So mel's daddy is so nice la, he prepared breakfast for us! Haha. So cute, i ate 2 slices of bread and egg :D thanks, mel's dad :D haha, for sending us to school too! Haha. So... OFF TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE LVOE LOVE LVOE LOVE LOVE LVOE LVOE~~~~
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. OMHHHHGGGG. Yellow was no.1, blue was last. Oh well, nvm. We'll try again!! :D hhaha. So I was emo-ing at the holding site. Damn hot and all... Ha. Then THEN!! Omg hot hot hottttttt!! I can't say here la, too much le. So karin, next time you read this, just remember the f___d. :D and when you're stressed, hit someone yeah. Oh man mel I'm so gonna' kill you. _____ wanted to_____ somemore, then you... "eh... ______" wah i tell you the look of disappointment was unmistakable okay. AND LA4 MEI4 AH!!!!!!!!!!!! Meanie. Was dragging esh to come with me, then she didn't in the end. Tsk lah. meanie girl. Haha so I went to take mrt to thomson there. Haha. OKAY OKAY. So I took the wrong train. Right, right, to marina bay. Oh well, haha so I switched back to take to bishan. OH MAN THEN ANOTHER PROBLEM. Called ash.
"HEY ASH!!! *flustered* is it bus interchange or what?"
"Er yeah!"
Okay so I was looking for the bus interchange. -.-
"Okay so you walk into junction 8..."
"uh huh??"
"Walk straight all the way. Do you see a bus stop?"
*stone*
"NO!!! I see... a patch of grass and cars!" *anxious*
"huh???"
"Is it at macdonalds???"
"Er... wait ah you talk to mel."
..
"Is it at macdonalds?"
"Okay walk out of macdonalds."
"I see breadtalk."
"huh?! Breadtalk? Where are you???"
"the place our clique met last time..."
"Do you see OP?"
"No!!!!" *more flustered*
"er..."
Then I continued walking and walking HAHA and I found OP. So I said I was at OP, then mel told me to continue walking straight and cross the road. THERE! And I finally found bus 410. MAN. It took so long to reach thomson. ): oh well. It's getting late so I guess I'd cut it short. I looked really retarded with my dumb books okay. REALLY. I mean really. That teenage guy at the counter kept talking to me -.-
"You can or not?"
"Can, can..."
Then he started asking me random questions. Man. So after I was done, I took bus back lor. Still got 3 books due ): as in, not bought ha.
OKAY. For today. What I have to say is, jiayou choir. Hmm... so sis and I met dad today:D ate lunch at angus LOVE LOVE LOVE (x infinity) and then went to watch movie. Stupid woman at the counter registered us for M18 show. Dumb shit lah! Like seriously, is she BLIND or what? Can't see that I'm in my uniform? And how did I know that the Rain show was M18?! Stupid. Shopped at heeren and was drinking coffee when I flipped through MyPaper. Then I saw Ninja Assassin-- M18! wah xeh la. BOIL okay. So in the end, we watched Informant which was AWFULLY BORING. Really. Sis slept for a while so dad kept poking her haha. Then after the show, it was already 5 plus, so dad fetched me home, and sis to amk. Oh well :D
...
What's wrong with me? This 'thing' has already passed, so why am I still dwelling on it? Why do I still have feelings for you? What's wrong with me. I like sean, but... each time I see you, it's... different. Just different. I just sense the... Oh well I dunno okay. Cos I'm angry with you, for being so mean and sorta' forgetting me just because of that one time. Look, I dunno okay. This is dumb, talking about that guy. Gosh. Stop giving me memories, okay? Quit talking to me, or anyone around me. Stop 'caring' about me. Stop. Stop it. I've got so much to tell you, the reasons why I behave the way I am... The reasons for doing everything I did... To clear up the misunderstandings we've had. But I guess it's just too late. I hate you m____l__.
forget him. now.
...
sleeping time.
...
it's hard to say it
it's time to say it
goodbye
goodbye

2009-11-24T04:31:00.000-08:00

Hah. Tale of two sisters wasn't scary at all la :( haha really. and now my nails are destroyed by melody. hahahaha okay. LListening to songs. wah very loud.

2009-11-21T07:58:00.000-08:00

So. I spent like... dunno how long sorting out the stupid booklist. LOL. Was contemplating whether to go to pops or collect from sch. Then mel popped up with the big box thing so i decided to go to pops. Oh well. So... Bird bought me backstreet boys cd haha. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, des-MONN and sis took it to listen. FIRST. OKAY!!! Okay I know this may be bad lah, but hey, it's my disc anyway, and I haven't listened to it YET, neither have I granted ANY OF YOU to take my com or listen to my cd. Now my ipod can't be authorised. Stupid man. I don't like you, des-MONN. Hmph. Really. Gosh! Empty house now. Literally.
...
Can't wait for thursday. Or am I really that excited? Really wonder what I'm gonna' say... Don't even know whether I'll be able to talk anymore. Hope it won't be weird.
Can't wait for tuesday! Haha off to mel's, and wed, sports day :D heh heh. So next week will be a 'fun-filled' week huh. Man tongue tied, I'll be sure to get back to you okay. On the whole next week. Bet it'll be quite interesting. Oh well. This com lagged for like, a long time. Silly. Microsoft word can't really load well. Man, I finished reading my storybook le. Wanna' buy new one... Sigh...
...
Yknow, sometimes, trying not to think of sth does help, but then when the truth hits you, it's gonna' be real nasty. Well, maybe I'm still living in dreamland. Maybe I'm just still thinking that things will be able to return to normal. In fact, that's the way I am now. That's why I don't feel so down. Maybe I'm in this weird state of mind. I donno? I dunno how to describe it. All I know is that I hate life now. And I donno whether I'll be able to be that same person I was when my life changes. I doubt so. Things are at this turning point, and then we're like in the middle of choosing which path we wanna' go. (san1 cha4 lu4 kou, just that this time, there are only two choices). You know, if you had ever thought carefully, thought of ___, then obviously you wouldn't make this darn stupid decision. I hate you. Really. I hate it. Where did all those times go? Down, down into that abyss... And then we're starting smthin' new. But I don't like this 'new'. I won't accept. I can't accept. Yknow, I'll never get myself back again, never. Never ever ever. Maybe I'm still the old me, but I'll never be able to smile genuinely, like I used to.... And next year, you and me won't be in the same class anymore. I'm really afraid. You know? Do you know how freakin' afraid I am? I realised that I really depended a lot on you. And probably... certainly, you'll find new friends.. You're so... sociable and all... Then the gap will just go wider and wider. I can never find another friend like you, but i know there are so many others out there who can replace me. I know it, 'cos I haven't done as much for you as you have done for me. And then, losing so many things in one go sends me crying again. That feeling is there. Isn't it quite obvious that we'll really drift real far? I hate this! I hate this fact!!!!!!!!!! This.is.so.stupidly.dumb. I hate it. I hate this. This is stupid. I hate separation. Why is it always like that? Huh? So why don't you at least just leave me with one close friend for the next two more years? I'm losing enough already, so can I please stop losing things anymore??? At least not in one go? I HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why must things turn out this way? The last question I should ask myself.
Wise up, Karin yeo.
Now it even feels weird calling my own name. 'cuz I just ain't me anymore.
...
When you've lost yourself, you've lost everything.
...
funny how you can laugh when you're hurting-real deep-inside

2009-11-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

B4.
listening to inconsolable. sad...
baby i don't wanna' waste another day
keepin' it inside it's killin' me
'cuz all i ever wanted comes right down to you
to you
i wish that i could find the words to say
baby i would tell you everytime you leave
i'm inconsolable...

2009-11-14T06:42:00.000-08:00

So. I'm waiting for some new msn messenger thing to load. Gosh, it's taking forever. Oh well. Been pretty... grossed out today. Very xian I tell you. Really. Oh well. Now, I'm really quite blank, as in... All the thoughts have just faded away suddenly. Been thinking a lot the whole day. Yeah... All right. Where shall I start? Gosh, I should've logged in earlier. They all lor... :( Okay. Stupid i-pod songs can't be synced so I gotta' bear with shitty youtube. Gosh!! ITUNES!! :( oh well.
I really appreciate what you do for me, but you know sometimes, I just don't get you. Really... I don't know how to put it too. It's like, I really wanna'... be able to... i dunno okay. But then what you're saying is only your side of the story, ain't it? I mean, you can't just go on blaming ___ when you, too, have a part to play right? I just don't get it. This wasn't how things were the other time. You weren't like that. And then now you're announcing it to the whole wide world as if it's something so glorious, and you can win like, millions of dollars from it. I don't know okay. Part of me wants to be nice, and then the other part's just so confused with all that you're doing. I'm messed up enough already all right, you don't have to go around telling others about my condition. I don't like that period. I'm lost okay. And then you. You've changed so much. Can you stop all your nonsense? Please? It's for your own sake okay. Do you think I like this? I know it isn't easy for you, probably, it's even more difficult for you than it is for me, but this isn't the time to sacrifice more important things for this. It ain't okay? It concerns your future, so stop it. Really, stop all your nonsense. You know I really miss those times... Oh well, what's the point of thinking back on what you had? I have to stop this. But for now, I'm just gonna'.. sigh.
I hate it when the world revolves around money. Okay, that means I hate every second of my life. Okay not really... But.. Sigh. I hate it. I hate this. I hate being not happy. Just when can I smile genuinely again?...
pain
is losing something you once had
losing something that you had taken
for granted
and never getting it
back
pain
is seeing what others take
for granted
and knowing
you'll never have what
they have

2009-11-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

You're just a mystery. I can't engage myself in any more thinking of you. Just when will I forget about you? It's impossible. How many times have I said that to myself? Yeah, I know. But I don't like him just because I wanna' marry him. Crazy ah! Whatever, I needa' get over you. You're annoying. I wonder if anyone will like me like how I like sl man. Can't stand it. Oh well, maybe that dream was to cheer me up? I donno. But yeah, I dream of you last night. It's that feeling again, that barrier... That barrier that separates me from you, sl. Yeah...

2009-10-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

Whoo. Translation now :/ oh man. so dfficult lah lol. Heh heh. Dreading sports for life later :/ so dumb. Then will sweat! And my fringe will become gross lol. Heh heh. I love sl and I don't want school to end too! ): haha, love the new choir song. That Jap song by Ko Matsushita. Omg, he's an awesome composer. Lol lah. The new song is very emo... :) just received the acad award. Man, suddenly felt very inferior when I saw the other people's achievements... All rounder and all! Haha. Okay lah, must be man3 zu2 yeah! :D Oh yeah. I'm quite okay with my eoy ppr results :D Heh heh. Regine's on now! omg jiayou, regine! Heh heh heh. She's so cute lah :D omg. Just realised that I haven't prepared letters for everyone I wanted to give yet. Man lah! :/ haha. All right. Will try to get back tonight or sth. Hmmms.... Gonna' stay back a little longer today to take pics according to mel. Haha. Must tie the same hairstyle that one! Hahaa. Dunno what the chinese homework thing is for though. ): haha. Still, I didn't get an a1 for english. But nvm! I'll try next year :) 74 kay. LOL. Oh well! Was feeling real gross during the award ceremony though. But I'm okay already. Oh haha I like this keyboard a lot. Sounds very nice to type on heh heh. I love jay. jay jay jay jay jay jay!!!! Heeeheeee. I can't wait for his new album to come out man, will be sure to buy it! :) and last night, at 11 plus, I called mel using the online thing. Haha lol lah my sis was bending over my com and laughing at mel's reply 'cos she couldn't get the telephone thing up. Haha, then we finally made it, but she couldn't hear me!! :/ hahahaha. I could hear her though. Wallao mean lah she, go and sabo me. Recite my blog posts about sl out loud! My sister could hear lah, I was literally screaming throughout the whole time mel read it out so it would not be heard hahaha. Shall try again next time. Just rmb, cca is going to be on wed and thu next year. Gosh. Many changes next year, needa' really adapt to the new... environment and all! ): mel's turn now heh heh heh. Omg lah. Very funny. Gosh. Dreading sports for life again! ): oh well. Okay bah. Talk to you later yah. Or maybe tmr. Or maybe, a few days later.

2009-10-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

suddenly feeling damn sad. listening to xing1qing2... i don't want this year to end. don't want to be separated from them... don't want. I'll really miss you guys.

2009-10-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hey tongue tied. Well, today has been a day of thinking about sl. I mean seriously, I thought of him the whole day. Gosh. Well, I smsed him on wed night. Ha. Seems like a few hours before man. Haha. Anw.. Just found his advice very meaningful... Hmm.. Maybe getting someone a ****** ***** helps, huh? Yeah, actually, you can't really expect much from ****** *** ***. Oh well. I guess, I just have to... Yeah, face up to reality and... yes. Bravely face this problem and think of ways to solve it, 'cos nothing can't be solved. So... I have to get used to this... new life. Yeah. He's really awesome lah. And I felt totally bad okay. I didn't know he had to go to school today man, so I smsed him until 1!! :/ gosh. Luckily I told him to tell me when he had to sleep. Yeah. Haha. So basically, our topic of convo was rather limited la, but he really is a good advisor. Knows how to always look on the bright side of things, and that's the thing about him that makes him SL. :) Hmm... Yeah so basically, he's real nice lah. Hope to see him during ******** ** **. Hah, he said he would be helping out. And hopefully, he would not be too busy so we could catch up and all (: hey that's what HE said kay. LOL :D so mel was saying how despo I was. Literally spanned for a few hours. 2 smses and one online msg. HMPH MEL. YOU AND YOUR CAL. LOL IT RHYMES. Yeah. Oh well, I guess I gotta' go sleep soon. Gotta' wake up pretty early tmr. Darn it.
...
you're the one who keeps me going
the one who cheers me up
the one who gives me the strength
when all i see is darkness
the one who taught me to see
that there's much more to life
and the one who made me see
that i had to face up to the facts
and accept
and adapt
thank you, sl
...
you make me smile
through my tears...

2009-10-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

Gosh. Translation again! Argh. Somehow, I find this better than sports. I hate sports. Didn't wear pe attire lah shit man :/ -.- then after that my hair and fringe will become gross :/ argh. Oh well, I gave mel and ash their presents ytd. Haha. Then this mel was so random, suddenly wanna' go 7 eleven, then she bought Mr Greedy, saying it was for her niece, then after that she told me I could keep it. lol lah! Haha so random. I'll never do that man. Hahaha. But anyway, Mr Greedy is so cute!!!!! Haha why doesn't this com have caps lock -.- hahaha okay okay. I shall stop crapping. Bye bye I'll return... Later I guess. haha got activity to do now! :D

2009-10-26T17:26:00.001-07:00

whoa. we're having translation class now. so boring xia!!! some... weird energy efficient thing. Haha not listening le. Xian! Waiting to go for lunch. HEH heh.************

2009-10-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

Hmmm. So... Saturday was really... different. Weird, rather. As in... Hmmm... I really dunno how to put it. My sis lah, talk talk talk about her earpiece. Hmph, gotta' lend her mine for A FEW DAYS. And yeah, you should know I'm going to die. Oh well, think I'll just borrow her creative. She HAS to lend it to me. So, saturday was a totally... Not doing anything day. Seriously. So when it was breakfast time, I ate... then I started talking to mum... Well... Not about a lot of stuff... But... Hmmm... I dunno how to put it. Silly sister playing some song... Then... talking talking talking. HAHA. Okay, I've only until 11 plus... Silly sister says she wants to sleep 'cos she came home late last night. So I talked to mum for I dunno how long, but the next time I glanced at the clock, it was 12 plus. Gosh... I went to play the piano, then we went out. Hmmm... Sis went to trade her denim Zara dress... then... basically, it was already 3 plus when we headed out lah. Really dunno how time flew that day! Really. Had lunch at Hans... OH yeah then I went to cut my fringe haha. The guy wanted to cut bangs for me, but when he saw that my hair was too short, he gave up the idea lol. Said I would 'kan4 qi3 lai2 sha3 sha3 de'. HAHA okay. I don't want bangs anw. It'll become seaweedy. HAHAHAH. So then we shopped for a while before heading to kino at about 5 plus. HAH i'm so proud of myself. Got myself a chinese book (hey it's quite nice kay, though I haven't read it yet (: ) and some english book though I hadn't read finish my KARIN SLAUGHTER MURDER BOOK yet :D oh man, the book is damn nice! SEE, it's 'cos her name's KARIN, that's why it's nice. OH MAN. I'm afraid I'd be scared tonight reading it lol. Hey come on la, imagine you're the only one in your room at like, 11 plus! HAHA reading a murder book. I imagine the scene out lol. It's really cool... Got this very good and cool impression of that guy called Will. Oh well, let's not talk about that.
M*****y uncle came at about 6 plus. We were heading home but then I decided I wanted to eat sushi tei lol. So... it was crowded luhr, then we decided to go to... OKAYE i forgot. There were lotsa' suggestions but we settled for pasta cafe in the end (: haha shared set with mum... not bad bah... Then... I decided to get sth. LOL ____took the longest. Dumb lah, I went to the basement, then up to the third floor, down to the basement again, before going up to the third floor -.-''' so yeah. Awwwh man, the stupid thing is damn cute. GAHH. Heh heh. Hmmm... Yeah so then we went to ion (by the time it was 8 plus) then I went around the shopping mall before stopping by at some ice-cream stall called Marvellous Cream or sth. Damn ice-cream cost 9.80 -.- gosh la. LOL then mum didn't want it 'cos she said it wasn't nice. So... you guessed it la. Surprisingly, I didn't burst after eating it LOL. Sigh, then we headed home. Gosh I can't type!! Some stupid Good Girls Go Bad (whatever you call it) is blasting in my ears. Annoying.
...
So the song ate up what I remember I did on sunday... Today was quite boring. In fact, it was... very boring. Aiyeah can't help it la, staying at home-.- AHA. I've got sth! Ha so on friday night, suddenly ash started talking to me, and then she introduced MEAP to me! It's meap lah, not meep. LOL but meep it shall be! Haha sounds cuter. Gosh meep was from a cartoon la -.- OMG i watched the cartoon. Damn damn damn damn damn CUTEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D hahaha and ash, I can imitate the "Balloonee" very well okay! Gosh I rmb I started saying it to mum then I burst out laughing each time I thought of it while shopping. Gosh. Gosh another dumb, tuneless song. "When I say jump you will say how high"... -.-''' gosh SISTER, TURN IT DOWNNNNN!!!!!!! :/
...
Friday was cool. Can't put it here. Gosh.
...
hey man, you're really hot. Gosh, it's been 10 months. I guess I still can't get over you dude. Gosh what's wrong with me... red hot taxi, for that red hot you... the way you stood... no one can ever stand like you, boy.
...
can't draft it today. Probably tmr, when I have more time. Had a really nice dream ytd... I really went back to the past... Although there was some crying, I felt happy. I really wish I could transport myself back to the past. Oh well, that'll be my last try. Then I'd know I'd done my best. No, I guess I'm still holding on. Holding on...
...
okay-hair, NICE SKIN, real cool jeans 'cos they're low, cool polo tee (normal black one), cool touch-screen phone... Hey man, you're quite cool :) but hey man, think again okay. You're nice, but... Haih I can't say it here.
...
LEE BIN LEE BIN DADEEHH.
...
tongue tied...

2009-10-16T07:14:00.001-07:00

yeah, I'm wallowing in self-pity, huh?
you're right

2009-10-15T07:30:00.001-07:00

O.O my com is going crazy. Oh well, I have decided to start making cardees today. Mel suddenly mentioned it so here goes. Right now, I'm still looking for my glitter glue -.- hahaa. Oh well, I'm really proud of myself today for finishing CHOPIN AHAHAHA!! No as in, I managed to do the sleepy nocturne difficult parts. Needa' continue practising though! So well, I must say SOMEONE does have more fate than I do. Yes yes, I want to see him. PLEASE. Really... Miss him a whole great lot so yeah :(
...
2Dee was awesome today. Ha I find their class very admirable! So tuan2 jie2! :) today's reflection day was quite fun bah... Just got a little boring halfway through... But generally, it was... quite all right. HEEYA then mel suddenly cry halfway make me cry also. TSK lah. Don't be sad... I'm sad too, but we're F6, so we'll stay tgt forever yah! UNTIL WE ARE OLD AH MAS, INCLUDING BIN!! (ha bin that was for you man LOL). Then... during recess, mel had a crazy idea (not usual) to buy a drink and gan1 bei1. LOL so we all gan1 bei1-ed and drank the APPLE TEA which tasted... NOT VERY NICE. AHAHA so then we went to the family lounge, to relive the memories of HUAI2 YUN4, but obviously we didn't manage to play 'cos not enough time... Hmmm... then we took pictures, then recess ended :/ first time 1hr recess passed so quickly :/ oh well... reflection day wasn't as fun as last year, i guess. We weren't as high hah... Oh okay okay. I gotta' get back to the cards 'cos it's getting quite late.
...
HAHA games carnival tmr O.O -.-'' don't want to play. So hot :/
...
ifiwantfantthefeoldfoldyoufou

2009-10-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

hmmm... Today's another... boring day, but, reflections are still coming hah. So I went to the dentist today, then sadly, I didn't make any progress again :( my silly tooth didn't come down sigh. Gosh, next visit have to fix something to it to bring it down. It'll take half an hour, so I reckon it's gonna' hurt like keesiao. The woman told me 'Never mind lah hor, holiday mah!' and laughed and laughed O.O okay. I.think.it's.scary :( so then I chose turqoise for my braces colour, thinking that it would look nice, but got a real rude shock when I looked at the mirror man :/ THEY ARE BRIGHT BLUE IN COLOUR! :/ oh well, have to tahan with it for like, 4 more weeks. And my maid just made me jump when she talked to me suddenly. Gosh la. LOL :) oh well, just happy that we've got school tmr. Sigh, time flies... I really don't want to move on to sec three. I just... I dunno. I dunno what to do with my life now. I really wanna' do sth, tongue tied, but I dunno whether I should, I dunno whether it's right. Y know, I just wish I could be able to create a song about... about my feelings about this entire thing I'm going through... Dunno. I guess it's difficult to express things through words now... It's like... I really, really love my piano, 'cos that's the only time I can really... forget about everything and put my emotions in my pieces. Yeah... well, there was not much improvement on nocturne :( both pieces are nice, but the first piece almost put me to sleep while I played it. Can't blame it la, it's ye4qu3 :)
...
what should I do, what should i do?

2009-10-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

So. The exams are finally over. Hah, really, really took a deep breath after the paper man. And my com!!!! I'M SUPER DUPER UBER PISSED WITH IT i tell you, it lagged for practically half an hour!!! -.- okay fine that's not the point. Well, I've set today as reflection day, yeah so basically, I've stoned for... 40 minutes now. Bad headache... Can't stand it, always after I wash my hair, there goes man. Well, I was a little flushed during the chinese exam, then I got so happy that the exams were over I burst out laughing. Oh man, just couldn't stand it. Anyway, it's OVER. Yeah it's over. Just thankful that I don't have to ren3 with anymore... anymore stuff yeah. Been a whole stressful period for me man... Struggling with what I have... Well, I really wanna' thank God for guiding me through... yeah thanks cp, what you said really did make sense. Thanks. It really was great for me, 'cos obviously it was God who gave me the shalom peace and let me sleep well despite all the banging upstairs. Really. I suffered on sunday night man. But yeah, PRAISE YOU JESUS :)
So after the exams, everyone was rejoicing, trying to contain their excitement 'cos dee was still having their exam... HAH so we went to the gym toilet to change and blah. Well, we met lotsa' sn people around, including joey they all. Then jo told me I left my waterbottle and pencilcase in class-.- ah nvm, anw I already sensed that I forgot sth before I left. Hah I guess that's just me bah. So then we went to take neoprints then went bk. LOL almost burst eating ash's fries O.O wasted money buying water 'cos I left it in school, then we... OOH we went to buy some friendship thing. Okay it's not meant to be a friendship band, but it's some bracelet kinda' thing. NICE XIA. HEEHEE. Then aline, jac and megs took a CHAO SUPER LONG SO LONG time to get their earrings, then mel, ash and I ended up walking tgt while the three little girls went shopping. LOL la they all ah... So we walked down the taka stretch roads singing jay's songs... Then went to taka and saw eeyore. Ah he was so cute man! Wanted to buy ( 12dollars only ah xehh no money ): ) then we basically walked around aimlessly until two plus before we walked to cine with germ and amanda. Well, 500 days/nights ( DAYS OR NIGHTS?) of summer was... idk leh... boring? Idk why the others say it's nice... Nice ah? Okay la maybe I'm not used to watching romance. Yah lah, really, you see the both of them... tsk tsk tsk!! Haha but the p***s part was super funny. Man made me laugh like siao. AHAHHAA. Really funny. Then yah, it was... aiyah not bad la. Then we walked back to taka and bought some snackies (got crazy over chippy in btw) then went home ): ah yeah. Tmr no school. HA.
Okay on my bus ride back, it was... pretty embarrassing. Firstly, I got through the MRT safely AND COOLY (yay me! (: ) but then I found out there was some renovation thing going on at bus 70. WAH XIA PENG SAN. HOW LEH?? I tell you, the bus stopped there for LIKE, SO LONG, then I was almost nearing it already. So I wanted to double-confirm that it was bus 70, so I went right to the back of the bus. EH XIA, no number- EVEN MORE PAI XEH. Walked to the front of the bus (saw a guy eyeing me like I was some moron) then asked a lady 'Erm excuse me, what bus number is this?' then she said what I heard as '70' (guess i was dreaming)-- then I realised how retarded I was and turned to look at the bus number- almost peng san again when I saw it was 76. So went to the other bus stop-- even better, 162. HA SO THE CLEVER ME WENT TO TAKE 86!! :D I crossed the overhead bridge. Hey but throughout I wasn't THAT huang1 lor. HAHAHAHA... So while waiting for the bus I ate my custard puffs, then I had a strong urge to sing along to jay's songs while I was walking in... So when I reached home, I closed the door and finished singing his album. Wah shuang3 man. Haha then went to bathe, eat, PLAY PIANO, and now I'm here. Whoa okay let's talk about playing piano. Man really loved it. GOSH I THINK MY ENGLISH SUCKS. AS IN, I AM TALKING IN POINT FORM! :/ okay nvm. Yeah, played my dearie chopin's songs :) I'm really happy I managed to play them properly. Well, not really properly, but better than the previous times. Then, I did some hand-jumping song. Whoa lah, tough, tough... Ended off with river that flows sth sth... Okay for the more serious stuff now.
...
well basically, this whole... whole year has been... A pretty tough one, I must say. Reflecting on what happened throughout the whole year... well, maybe I've grown in a way. Learnt and understood lotsa' things. Somehow when I compared my neoprints, I felt I looked pretty much older compared to in sec 1, and uglier :/ okay that's NOT the point agn. So... yeah. It does feel pretty weird that things have changed... like, took a turn for the worse. It really is weird that I won't be going back there anymore. Sometimes, I just feel so empty y know? Like how I really had a strong urge to call her ytd, but then again... Well, I guess i'll just have to yu3wang3shi4gan1bei1 bah... So i'll keep only the happy memories with me... And yeah, thanks for giving me those happy memories (: i'll miss you, really. So I guess i've just gotta' start moving on with life... Just understood one really meaningful thing today... but diff to say it here so nvm :) and like... I plan to do sth... But then again, when I try, I just... can't seem to bring myself to. I mean, I'm just... all alone. Well maybe this is world war three, huh?
...
I miss all of you... The real 'you's... Really badly. But then again...
...
I dunno what you feel anymore. I'm sorry... I'm really sorry I haven't been there all this while. And it really does hurt when you don't tell me things that I was the first and last to know about. Can we talk? I saw what you wrote in that notebook. I'm sorry.
...
乘着风
游荡在蓝天边
一片云掉落在我面前
捏成你的形状
随风跟着我
一口一口吃掉忧愁
载着你
仿佛载着阳光
不管到哪里都是晴天
蝴蝶自在飞
花也布满天
一朵一朵因你而香
诚圆说让夕阳飞翔
带领你我环绕大自然
迎着风
开始共渡每一天
手牵手一步两步三步四步
望着天
看星星
一颗两颗三颗四颗
连成线
背对背默默许下心愿
看远方的星是否听的见
手牵手一步两步三步四步
望着天
看星星
一颗两颗三颗四颗
连成线
背对背默默许下心愿
看远方的星如果听的见
它一定实现
...
yeah, ash, meep.

2009-08-09T10:23:00.000-07:00

So how many years has it been since I last blogged? Nvm. Tired. Very tired.
sl.sl.sl.sl.
...
maybe love does come with conditions huh? Yeah, I learnt that... this year. I wanna' run away, away from this place, to somewhere where I belong...
...
she lay on her bed
wondering
where the happy times had gone to
the genuinely happy times
wondering
what had become of her
wondering
what had become of everything
everybody
in her life
she wanted to run
to pack
and leave
but to where?
she had no clue
'cos everything was falling apart
crumbling around her
she wanted to escape
from the misery
from the pain
from the awkwardness
that pierced her heart
when the thick silence settled in
she wanted to speak
tell someone
anyone
but could she?
who would understand?
things were not as simple as they seemed
long story
long story
long story
she shut her eyes
trying hard to remember those times
beautiful and bright
once,
her own

2009-07-14T08:22:00.000-07:00

I.am.hungry.
Gosh la. I wanna' eat eat EATTT. :/ Stupid hotmail is hanging. Crappy shit. Oh well. Yes, yes, I don't like him anm! :) YAY i finally like, got over him after so long. Seriously. Anw it won't do be any good if I like him wad.
Stupid hair. I want back my niceR hair :S
DUMB BAD HAIR DAY. LALALALALA IT'S SO FRICKINGGGGG LATE AND I HAVEN'T SLEPT COS THE COM HANGGGGGGGG :/

2009-07-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

For once, expressing myself in Chinese is so much easier. At least he won't really understand if i express myself in Chinese.
I dunno okay. It's like... so horrible. Everything. Is. Stupid. My teeth hurt. Like shit. Well, okay that's not the point. The point is... I don't want to like him, but I CAN'T. I dunno i dunno, it's so dumb right. Yeah. I know i'm dumb, but still... I know it's... aiz. Forget it lah, what's so good about him anyway? everything. It's just... I can't explain it here bah.
i wish that i could find the words to say...

2009-06-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

another sleepless night, i
keep starin' at the ceiling
...
put yourself in her position
all she needs is recognition
...
will this ever end?
will this house be a home again?
if i have my way
i'd corner him and say;
sleepless nights-faber drive

2009-05-26T08:08:00.001-07:00

chestnut brown hair
cute eyes
and that smile
that can drive you
crazy
...
you're my motivation, dude.

2009-04-24T09:33:00.000-07:00

I.am.dead.beat. AHH the com's fast lah, I thought it was sleeping time le LOL. Ah sigh anw, tmr we've to go to science center :/ ah don't have the mood to blog... Anyway, things that happen aren't even happy. Hmm, and that person who sprouted nonsense about me, SHUT UP 'cos you're WRONG. Yes, wrong. So don't act smart, whoever you are. Stupid shit.
Dunno, very pissed now. Suddenly thinking of s, even pissed-er. Idk lah, haiz, I mean, I shouldn't be 'controlled' by a guy right. Okay it's not like he's my whatever, but like... I donno. My mood depends on his mood, and AHH i can't say it here -.-''' I don't know, I keep telling myself that seriously SERIOUSLY COME ON, I can't be with him :/ LOL lah that's so crazy man. And now the more I think, the more I don't like him. Always like that one, then next time I see him I'll like him, esp when he FINALLY turns and looks at me. Argh. This is D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G. Wow and guess what. I got a careless mistake for science and can't draw the graph -.-''' WALLAO EH LAH. ARGH. 2 MARKS. NO, THREE. STUPID. NO, FOUR. Oh gosh, I'd better stop thinking about it yeah? Gosh. I'm feeling lonely and sticky and sweaty and slacky.
All right, goodbye.
-your not-so-good-mood owner.

2009-04-17T10:32:00.001-07:00

OMG hey yo tongue tied! Gosh, it's friggingg late, but I gotta' get this blogged out! Yes, I'm fourteen! Haha, today was totally awsumm man and I loveeee my clique even moreee!! HAAHA. The day started with me coming into class with my dumb heavy bag, and then... I plopped down on my seat to practise math. Then, joey and kai yin came up to me, joey with a FAIRPRICE plastic bag, and gave me my bday present-a CAULIFLOWER! OMG I totally was shocked down there lah HAHAHA! Then, I digested the info... and OKAY, I got a pretty cool bday prezzie LOL! hahaha! Then, meleee came in, OH AND I RECEIVED LOTSA' SMSES, and yeah then I heard when megs came, mel was like, 'WHY YOU COME SO LATE?!!' lol lah okaye then I knew megs was holding on to my prezzie le LOL. Haha, the present is damn nice lah! HAHA it's a hot pink little tee that says something like 'i was born to love' or sth. HAHA oh man, scared I can't fit xia! Haha but anw! I'll try and DUH i'll wear it! I love these kinda' tees! HAHA. Clever choice! :) haha then I had little cuteee cardees from mel, megs and JACCCCCC and rachel snr! :) ahhahaha OMG JAC YOU MADE MY DAY. Wait not that yet. Then as I continued revising, suddenly this jac random ask me come out then she covered my eyes (AHHH! EMBARRASSMENT LAAA) ahahhaha then i thought they were going to sabo me about sth related to sean lah LOL. Then OMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAW A LITTLE CAKEEEEEE WITH A LITTLE YELLOW CANDLE!!! :) OMG THAT REALLY MADE ME FREAKING HAPPY LAH!!!!! That made my day, PLUS jac's card. HAHAHAHAHHA. Thanks man!! Esp mel, you pig! :) haha. Then I didn't know it was actually a BROWNIE! .__. aiyo what's the diff anw. Both look the same. Nvm! Then we had maathhh test, SCREW IT, I minused seven marks already... followed by dumb chinese compo which i anyhow did, then math pd, then recess. HAH JACCCC!!!! HOOHOO i love the card you guys made man! I seriously love it and I seriously dunno how many times I've read it today. Shall read another time before I sleep later. LOL lah! omg it's almost 2 in the morning and I dunno how to wake up tmr!!! FISHSHHHS. FINE FINE I'M VERY JI1DONG4now but i must SAY FINISH!!! OKay hurry, then she gave me a book all on him and MEEE. Omg got his pics okay! So frigging amusing laaaaaaaaa!!!! I was literally screaming the classroom down. HAHAHAHAHHA it was so entertaining I read it again during lunch too. HAHAH. I love that book man! It's so cute! HAHA. Then when I went home, I had a little nappy and dream of sean! Wah, sigh, so sad I can't see him on my bday. Wah xia, if it were a sunday, then that'd be great. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO MORE TIME ALREADY. GOOD NIGHT TONGUE TIED AND I LOVE MY CLIQUEEEEEEEE A ;OTTTTTT!!!!
LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
LOVE
THE HIGH-PLACED KARIN
FOURTEEN!

2009-04-06T06:38:00.000-07:00

Om tian. I feel quite.. horrible... Cos... yuh know. Aiya, rather not say now lah, too personal le haha. Oh gosh, was sickieee sicky today. Lips were purple (yeah, thanks la, germ! ahahha) 'cos I was sick... and cold! Was feeling horrible during home econs man! Haha, was basically sleeping on the table. Oh man, poor Miss Mala, should've told her I wasn't feeling well luh! Haha anw, today's run was... UBER HORRIBLE. Super duper HORRIBLE kay. I was out of breath! And was like... making weird sounds from the last 400m. MAN! Stupid lah! Haha, ah, mel ah, next time you run last round with me, don't run so fast can! Run WITH me lah huh! Oh man, and I'm so sorry, Jamie!! AGAIN! Cos I pao1qi4 her halfway twice. Aiyeah first time I'll explain to you lah. See, I saw this enemy in front of me (DANG!) and then I was like... NO SHE CAN'T BE FASTER THAN ME. So I sped up lor. Sorry for not telling you! I was... OUT OF BREATH. Man, seems like I've no motivation xia! Sigh, can't think of sean either leh! Sighs man! Last week's timing was 10.02s, today was... 10.25s! DANG LAH!!! :/ oh my lah. Stupid slow pok nya. Aiyeah okaye okaye. You know just now there was a fat bee in my room! Omg it was reddish. First time I've seen such a... weird kinda' bee LOL. Oh yeah! And I've got a cute-sy little lappy!! HAHA it's so cute. It's white. So nice xia! Haha. Okaye okaye! JIAYOU FOR CHOIR TMR, CHOIRSTERS <3
get well soon, grandpa
granny, stay strong
and YOU, please wake up.

2009-04-02T07:24:00.000-07:00

you tore the pieces of paper
one by one
they touched the ground
piece by piece
shred by shred
i bit my lip
clutched my uniform
but the tears just spilled out
i tried not to cry
but the words you said
the painful sound of the pieces of paper
made the tears flow down my cheeks
'heartbroken'
that word you said stung me the most
when she started picking up the shreds of paper
with others joining in
i wanted to stand up
but where were my guts?
i remained seated
while the tears flowed down once more
we're sorry
i'm sorry
truly sorry
sorry miss lim.

2009-03-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

Please tell me where the money went. I hate myself for being so careless. Where could the money have gone to anyway? Why can't I ever do things right? Why can't I? Why?! A thousand and one 'why's that are yet to be answered, or in this life, will never be answered. I've lost myself, I've forgotten who I was. I'm not the person I was.
i'm a changed person
for the worse

2009-03-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

I.am.a.failure.

2009-03-19T06:14:00.000-07:00

absence makes the heart grow fonder

i'm counting down to the days

i can see you again.

2009-03-18T03:56:00.001-07:00

pretty saddening that songs of the past bring back fonder memories.

2009-03-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

17 march.
Idk. I have a feeling I'm gonna' go bonkers if I don't return to school. Come on, I've got nothing to do at home!! :( and there are no 'activities' at all. Man. And... haizz... Oh well... Today just wasn't a good day, okay? My braces are like... ARGH. OMG you know last night, when I was eating CORN, the wire suddenly pak out lah omg. Dumb shit lah, so I went to see dr heng today. LOL he was like, "Wah your corn so hard ah, it even broke your other wire." I was like... 'HUH?!' seriously, I didn't feel the other wire pop okay. Haha. Anw, so he put some double wire thing so that I can eat harder food? LOL rest assured, I won't eat CORN until two years later. Oh gosh... I guess I'll miss it. :/
...
you told me those words
while i was doing my work
i didn't hear much
but when you said it again
i paused for a moment
before the tears streamed down
smudging the ink
wetting my shirt
i'll miss you,
aunty tina
rest in peace with our heavenly Father
...
I miss him. Gosh yes I do. I DO I DO OKAY. Yes, I like him. Yes, I like him like him LIKE HIM like crazy. Okay? I can't wait to see him this sunday, okay? GOSH. I miss you.

2009-03-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

quit that, girl. quit that.
...
So i'm forcing myself not to like him huh. Sigh. Please lah, you're nothing to him lah, can you just don't be so DUMB yes? :/
...
Theory exam today! :/ i was... quite nervous lol. But the paper... went... relatively okay lah. I must say I only checked once though, and stoned throughout after checking. Hey come on, it was boring looking at all the notes okay. Lol. Yeah... I still got some questions unanswered xia! Mdm Chang never answer me, I think she angry:( lol lah. I hope I pass. The dumb melody writing like shit. Stupid lah. OMG now I'm scared that I won't pass. Man!! :/ gosh lah, don't wanna' retake man. HATE THEORY. SCREW IT! :/ HAHA. So anw, ky smsed me in the morn haha! Walla... She woke up at 7 plus! So early! :/ haha aiya i think 'cos hers in Lower Delta la :) haha and megs told me her friend timothy with a horse face (??) was in the same room taking the same grade and in back row... Hmm... No significant-looking guys leh. Only one, sitting in the row in front of me. Quite shuai... HAHA. She said timothy looked like sean, just that... EEYAH. NO ONE CAN LOOK LIKE SEAN LA OKAY! HE'S SO HAWTT. And megs! Timothy ain't handsomer than sean kay!! HAHA :)
...
stupid fringe is irritating me! Blocking my vision :( but each time I push it back, it'll come down. :/
...
SHAKESPEARE WHOO! :) WITCH ONE YEHH. NO LAH YOU know, i still dk how to make witchy voice. mel pig knows lah, she pro witch la lol. Haha okaye okaye. So late le, needa' go! :)
...
LOVE YA' TONGUE TIED! :)

2009-03-10T00:12:00.000-07:00

Hey tongue tied :( sob, I'm feeling very terrible now :( sigh... Math homework not done, dreading choir... But you know, the thing that's really bothering me now is... Sean and a teacher. Seriously... I asked my friend whether I was being... erm you know, but... She said no... So like that teacher was like... Just attitude me lah, and I don't know why also. Can't stand him lah, I mean, why does he have to be so wu2liao2! For nuts lah, why did he have to cook up things about me to another teacher? Hmm? I mean, seriously, he'll get nothing, okay? I just hope su1lao3shi1 won't have any bad impressions man :/ Idk lah.
And sean... Sigh...
i guess we weren't meant to be
i give up
...
Idk, you. Sorry lah, I'm being very irritating lah okay, but it's like :( I can't help it :(( haiz... why do I have to like him leh? Choir starting soon... Feeling emo-er ;( damn him man. Stupid.

2009-03-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

i can't make you love me when you don't.
...
slow goodbye...

2009-02-16T05:09:00.001-08:00

I THINK HE LIKES SOMEONE ELSE. STUPID.

2009-02-13T08:33:00.003-08:00

dead beat. gosh, wanna' die. Hate this world. Hate myself. Screw myself. Asshole. I hate him. Gosh I hate him!!!!! What's wrong with me lah! Getting pissed of for, no reason? Come on okay! I can't help it if I like this guy OKAY?! Love can't be explained. Fine, I know i'm dumb to like HIM but I can't help it. Like, do you think I would want to like him in the first place? I hate him for giving me this dumb weird feeling that I've been having since... since____......
SCREW MYSELF FOR NOT GETTING MY DUMB GEOG POSTER DONE.

2009-02-09T05:23:00.001-08:00

don't wanna' talk
don't wanna' think
don't wanna' keep hoping
'cos it'll never happen
will you talk to me?
i needa' talk to you...
...
you seem to be the one that keeps me going.

2009-02-08T01:36:00.001-08:00

All alone,
she fingered the keys
of her piano;
Closing her eyes,
she played the first note
of her favourite piece.
Without control,
her fingers brought her through.
As the last notes faded away
into the silence of the house,
a smile tugged at her lips
and she slowly opened her eyes
Now she understood:
she could only communicate
through her fingers,
through the music in her;
and never through her mouth
at least
for now

2009-02-03T05:50:00.001-08:00

it's amazing how you make me smile
at the slightest thing...

2009-01-31T08:30:00.001-08:00

i'm seriously drained
gotta' go to bed man
stupid medicine
:/
...
can't wait for school to start on mon! HAHA connotative and denotative meaning yo! LOL was that the right usage? Haha nvm. Gosh can't wait for the scary little week five to end man! Hmm, really gotta' have more confidence in myself! Feeling better as compared to this morning though. Was feeling very stressed and... Jittery:( i guess I'll just let lit go, yeah? Come on, Karin. Stop comparing yourself with others, all right? It won't do anyone good, especially you! :/
...
Congrats cp! :) haha why join sports luhr! Support karin all the way and go for CHOIR! :) haha but sports is cool too! Don't dread school lah! So fun xia! Can get to meet new friends and learn new things. Haha anw, I bet you don't like not doing anything right! Haha i would be so bored man! Haha :)
...
LALALA should've said no... Taylor Swift... :)
...
HMMM... will su1lao3shi1 forget about the speech? Gosh I don't wanna' deliver a speech, particularly 'cos I have no clue as to what to talk about! OH WELL.
...
Uncle John coming tomorrow YAYAAYA!! :) ahaha aunty mary, aunty joey and etc came today :) lala wanna' see how timothy has changed man. LOL :) (timothy is younger than me.... so don't jump your eyebrows.... LOL)

2009-01-30T08:37:00.000-08:00

I need your help, I really do. Please come into my situation, won't you? Teach me to trust you. Please let me gain back the self-confidence I was had in myself. Maybe I wasn't meant to be in _ _. It has caused me to change, for the worse, I suppose. Confidence, yeh? It's the direct opposite. Where did my confidence go to? I want it back. And I know you're the only person that can give it to me. Work me a miracle, please. Change my whole mindset altogether...

2009-01-30T08:34:00.000-08:00

i'm swimming in an ocean
the tide became high
and now i'm struggling to stay afloat
someone
anyone
particularly you
reach out your hand, please
pull me out from these dark waters
and tell me
everything'll be all right
that you'll always be my baby

2009-01-28T05:46:00.000-08:00

clueless
do i really like you?
i dunno
i don't feel the same anm
are the sparks gone?
for good?
am i just fooling myself-
living in my fantasy world-
telling myself
convincing myself
that i still like you?
it's amazing
really amazing
how you can affect my mood
i dunno whether i like you
or not
dumb, huh?
yeah, have it your way then
...
faint karaoke singing
angry, thundering voices
making music in the night
...
she crouched in a corner
no
no tears staining her face
no tears rolling down her face
just a stare
an unseeing stare
a stare that meant she had given up
a stare that meant she knew she meant nothing
a stare that meant she did not belong
...
whatever happened to you?
i want the old you
i wanna' see the old you back
i've been waiting
for days
months
years
have i reached the point of giving up?
what will make you change?
who has made you become like this?
...
my heart has plunged six feet down, down into an abyss of dejection

2009-01-26T22:45:00.000-08:00

'cos you'll always be my baby~

2009-01-21T06:18:00.000-08:00

quit sweeping me off my feet
each time i see you
just one look
just a smile
can brighten up my gloomy day
you're awesome
yeah, awesome...

2009-01-20T06:04:00.001-08:00

a simple chat;
just a few minutes
has somehow left me deep in thought
i feel that guilt
i feel the pain
i feel so bad
what can i gain?
...
i'm sorry, really
truly sorry
didn't know
you'd hurt that bad
didn't know
you'd be so sad
...
just that few minutes
and my heart is giving up
bit by bit
second by second
hour by hour
what was i thinking?

2009-01-16T09:04:00.000-08:00

freak
stop the thinkin' man
stop stop STOP it
crazy girl
gosh
it can't be helped
shit man
this is gettin' nowhere
crazy girl

2009-01-16T08:23:00.000-08:00

eyes closed
reflecting, smiling-unknowingly
snapping back into reality
opening my eyes
facing the very harsh truth
that we were never meant to be
he walks past me
and i feel that same mystery;
that barrier he creates
so gently, yet so harshly
standing right beside him
but miles away from his heart
admitting to defeat-
nothing would get me near
'love is inexplicable'
that very sentence stabs my heart